Golden Squire
by neurotically yours
Summary: Raoul went behind Jon and Gary's backs and took Alanna as a squire. Probably going to end up AlannaRaoul. If I ever find out the difference between fluff and sweet littel things, I'll add some.
1. Chapter 1

**Golden Squire**

**Chance meeting**

**disclaimer: i do NOT (i repeat not) own any of the characters you recognize.**

A loud curse echoed through the forest near the capital of tortall, Corus. Alanna of Trebond shook in her saddle; a large spider had just dropped from a tree only to hit her in the head. Soon after that incident, the rain began to fall in small icy droplets, soaking the squire and her packs. Alanna grumbled under her breath, cursing the knights who had come to the palace and not chosen her, and cursing all the gods for bringing her rain when she had a schedule to keep.

A twig snapped somewhere close by. She whirled to find a raiding party of five surrounding her. They all had crude weapons of some sort, poorly made swords, daggers, anything that could do harm. Alanna drew lightning, sizing up each raider. While they looked like they had no real training, she knew she was outnumbered and if she lost her weapon, she would be powerless to fight.

Without giving Alanna a chance to move or even turn her head, one man charged her his sword held high above his head. Alanna blocked the blow and attempted to wrestle herself out of the centre of the circle. Her mare, moonlight, wheeled about, hurling her murderous hooves at anyone who made the mistake of getting to close to her mistress. Alanna fought them all as they closed in. One man got clear and cut her across her arm. Alanna turned quickly bringing her sword up under his and with one swift movement, she flung his sword into the dirt a few feet away from the fight and ran the man through. Alanna was trembling slightly, this was the first man she'd killed. But she didn't have time to ponder it. There were still men to fight, and her life to at stake. She looked around swiftly for an escape route, only to find that one of the bandits had gotten clear of moonlight, he easily yanked her from the saddle and held her tightly.

"Well, little boy have you learned not to travel alone?" the man asked in mocking care as his friends searched her bags.

White hot rage pulsed through her. How dare this man grab her from the saddle and then look through her things! Though it was a struggle, she managed to say," what do you want from me? I'm only passing through, and I have no valuables."

One of them snorted, he sported a cut on the head from moonlight. "Right, and I suspect a squire would be but a poor, homeless lad. I hear they feed you feasts everyday, and you have a wonderful place to live. Spoiled blue-blooded brat," the man spat.

Alanna bit her lip. She needed to get away from these men, but she had no way to. Wrestling was always a weak point because she was so small, and now she couldn't even move her arms to move her sword to save her.

She was jerked from her thoughts as the man holding her dropped her, an arrow in his back. More arrows followed the first, showering the men killing the rest of them. When Alanna looked up, she saw Raoul of Goldenlake and Gary -Gareth the younger- of Naxen.

"Hey Alan, how'd you get yourself into this one?" shouted Raoul as he and Gary rode closer to her. Her two friends were known for their size, particularly Raoul. He was six foot four with black hair and black eyes that danced with laughter. Gary was smaller, with chestnut hair and eyes.

" I didn't do this on purpose, Goldenlake!" she snapped, her violet eyes glittering in anger. the copper hair that hung just below her ear lobes was mussed and sweat matted. She was two heads shorter than both of them, and skinny.

Gary walked up behind her, and chuckled. "Don't worry, we know you didn't. But it is rather funny to see you in such a..." he couldn't seem to find the word.

All Alanna did was growl in frustration. All she wanted was a bath, food and a bed to sleep in. "can't we just get to the palace already, I'm exhausted."

Sure, Alan, whatever you say," replied Raoul, and the three turned down the road to Corus in silence.

No one noticed that a pair of violet eyes was peering our of Alanna's saddle bags.

As the three reached the castle a cry was heard. Alanna was sure the people in Carthak could hear it. A woman who look as if she just left the convent strode over to the three. Gary was the first to react.

"Morgan?" he asked, eying the new-found beauty with interest.

Morgan nodded. Even Alanna had to admit, she was a beauty. Her long reddish hair fell to her lower back in straight locks, and only drew attention to her slim figure. Her face was a matter all on its own. She had a heart shaped face with a pointed chin, small delicate nose and chestnut eyes. She was the same height as Alanna, which only made her look dainty.

_Goddess bless!_ Thought Alanna, _this woman is gorgeous!_

Raoul didn't show much right now, only polite interest. Gary on the other hand was stunned. It was as if he'd never seen a more beautiful girl in his life, which Alanna highly doubted.

"I can't believe it! I didn't think I would see you for another year!" Gary exclaimed.

His companions looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

Gary blushed slightly and said," this is my sister, Morgan. She wasn't expected at court for another year, she was giving her teachers such problems while she was there,"he grinned,"have you changed any?"

Morgan, in return, grinned and said,"only to their faces."

They laughed. Alanna hoped she was like Gary. If she was, Alanna might have a friend.

"So, lady Morgan-" Raoul started.

"No, just Morgan. It always bothers me to be called something I hate. Surely you understand that," she said turning her eyes to Alanna.

Alanna gulped. There's no way she could have known, is there? No, she took too much care.

But still the look in her eyes, so much like Gary's it was creepy, made her wonder.

"Right, well then, Morgan, how did you manage to get out so quickly? I mean, the convent priestesses aren't known for being forgiving," Raoul said. For some reason, Alanna got the feeling that Raoul didn't much like Gary's's sister, though what he said was of polite interest. Did he find her attractive, but not willing to attempt to court her because of her brother? Or did he really not like her? She would think about this later, but right now Morgan was looking at her again.

"Hmm?" Alanna was caught off guard, now what did this child want?

The corners of Morgan's's mouth curved into a wry smile. "You must be squire Alan. I've been told about you, but I wasn't told until now about your attention span."

Alanna blushed. Why did this have to happen? Morgan would be sure to find out squire Alan's's secret. If she did, would she tell Gary's, or worse, her father? _Too many questions_, her mind chided. She scowled.

Unfortunately, Raoul caught the expression. "Alan, could I have a word? Privately if possible," he finished with a look at Gary's and Morgan's. They caught on almost the second he finished. They left the corridor quickly, yet still catching up.

Raoul shook his head,"if I ever meet someone like those two, shoot me with my crossbow at close range."

Alanna chuckled. Trust Raoul to say something like that. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

He sighed, as if this were hard for him. "I know you haven't had any offers to be a squire yet, and I was wondering if you wanted to be mine. While I'm sure you would prefer Jon., or Gary's, I hope you will think about it." he got up to leave, but Alanna caught his arm.

"Hey, what makes you think I don't want to be your squire? With Jon. I'd be in the thick of things, lots of dances, meetings, and everything that would bore me silly. While Gary's is my friend, he would do better to have a squire like Geoffrey, or Douglass. With you I know I'm getting field experience. so I would be honored to be your squire." she finished and took a breath. She only said the truth, and the whole truth, not just bits and pieces of it.

A smile spread over Raoul's's face."great, we'll start formal training tomorrow, once your rested from your first killing." he smiled when he saw hid friend's face go pale, then turn green. "Well, I'll see you in the morning." and walked off to his rooms.

_Why did he have to remind me?_ Alanna thought miserably. As she made a mad dash to her rooms she realized a problem. No one knew she was a girl. not even Jon. Alanna couldn't help but sigh in relief. Though she went to black city with him, she never gave them the opening they wanted to prove to Jon. that she wasn't a boy. _At least it's Raoul's_, she thought.

After she was finished in her privy, she started to unload her saddle bags. It was times like this she wished her father was still alive, but only to watch over Trebond. Her shoulders slumped. She missed coram, but at least she could write before the passages were very snowy. She was still thinking when she went to grab something and it moved. she looked down into eyes as violet as her own.

She clamped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from screaming. Realizing that it was only a cat, she started rambling about animals scaring people out of their skin, and the occasional "goddess this isn't funny!".

Seven sneezes sounded from "Alan's's" rooms, which were soon followed by a muffled curse.

Thankfully Alanna always locked her door, lest one of her friends coming to see what happened. Though she knew this, she still looked over her shoulder at the door. Then turned to face the woman in the middle of her room.

She was the most beautiful woman Alanna had ever seen. She was tall, taller then Raoul's, with long snaky black hair; she had a dress that seemed to be made of fog. Her face was pale, almost white to be more exact. she had bright green eyes, and full red lips. She was the great mother goddess.

"Oh no, oh no, I don't need this!" Alanna was saying shakily. Unconsciously she was shaking her head in disbelief.

A smile slid across the goddess' face. "Surely you believe anything is possible. Why is everything was impossible, my daughter, you wouldn't be here, and squire to sir Raoul's of Goldenlake."

Now, and only now, was Alanna beginning to think that she might actually be face to face with a god; she knew Alanna was girl. Suddenly, Alanna realized that she strangely silent. "My apologies, my mother; I did not realize who you were."

The goddess was still smiling. "Do not fret sweet darling. I can assure you I won't be here long enough for your friends to find you."

"I never asked for this you know," Alanna said hurriedly; she wanted to stop the goddess from torturing her ear with her voice. It sounded like the huntress belling on her hounds and the rain beating down on the earth.

"I know, you ask for very little, but sometimes I cannot help but meddle, especially with someone like you."

Alanna's curiosity was sparked. "What do you mean? A person like me?"

"A woman who is willing to make a change for what she believes is right, someone who is not going to cave when put under pressure. Who is strong enough to continue when everything seems lost. Are you that person?"

"Other than the woman part I might be," Alanna replied, and instantly regretted it. Why could she never keep a hold on her tongue?

Thankfully the goddess found her amusing. "Learn to hold your tongue, you might get killed if you don't. And you really are that woman, or at least, you will be." the goddess started to fade. "Do not disappoint me."

Alanna surged to her feet when she hadn't even realized she sat down, _wow, I really got to get my head back together_, "I will try not to."

"I can ask no more of you," and had disappeared like she was never there.

Alanna turned to her new companion. Finally unfrozen after that encounter, Alanna decided to check the sex of the cat. Seeing he was a male, Alanna finished unpacking and started setting dates for naming her cat and the rest of her duties in the morning. Raoul will understand.

She settled down for a dreamless sleep, courtesy of the goddess.

**(AN: so what did you think? is it good, i got an idea from someone else, only they have it as gary. anyways, please tell me what you think, it's my first fic!)**


	2. naming the allies

**Golden Squire**

**Disclaimer: i only own lady Morgan, so please don't sue this innocent poor child.**

**A/N: **in answer to my reviews:

**charlie and lola:** thank you, and probably, and just read to find out.

**obsessed reader:** yeah, it's called thorns revised by hannirose

**mercury-shadowfeather and saphron:** thanks, and i promise i will update as often as i can. by the way, mercury-shadowfeather, i'm going to read you story in a little while. and i will review.

****

**Naming the Allies**

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Alanna woke later than usual. Groaning in protest as light poured through her open shutters and into her eyes. The chirping if birds irritated her to no end, and the footsteps outside her door was more than she could take.

A pounding on her door angered her even more. _Does anyone in this place sleep?_ She thought drearily. Remembering to make sure she looked as masculine as possible she opened the door, only to almost shut it in shock. What in the name of Mithros was _He _doing here?

Duke roger of conte stood in her doorway, completely at ease despite Alanna's previous reaction. "Good morning, Alan's. I hear sir Raoul of Goldenlake, is it true?"

"Yes, your Grace," alanna replied, alanna was extremely nervous around this man, she only thing she hoped for now was that he would leave, and that her voice didn't show any emotion other than grogginess.

"Interesting, you should inform Duke Gareth when you have eaten and are presentable," he instructed her, "thank you for your time."

Alanna closed the door while shuddering. Why would he visit her so early in the morning? Surely he could wait to discuss court gossip with her. Already unsettled about the day, she went through her chores and left for the mess hall.

Unfortunately, roger wasn't the only person who wanted to talk to her. Jon Did, so did Gary. They both were asking her to be their squire, and when alanna told them she already had a knight master they looked crestfallen, and looked startled. And when they asked her who it was, she only said "wait and see"; she didn't want to cause a war between three very old and good friends.

She finally arrived at the mess hall. Her violet eyes scanned the rows of seats, looking for two of her friends. She caught sight of them talking to some of the older squires, Geoffrey of Meron and Douglass of veldine. She sat down between them and smiled. The two weren't wearing a squire's palace uniform, they were wearing the colour of conte blue for Geoffrey and the Naxen emblem for Douglass. They, in turn, looked surprised to see their small friend wearing the palace uniform.

"Hey, Alan, why are you still wearing a palace uniform? I heard you were chosen, but the person didn't say to whom," commented Douglass, confusion in his grey-brown eyes.

"I was, I just don't have a uniform in their colours yet," she replied easily.

The others looked satisfied. She glanced around the hall in hopes of seeing her new knight-master. What she saw was more than she expected;. Morgan was walking towards her with a brisk pace, as if she had something on her mind.

She smiled at Douglass and Geoffrey, and said quickly," I'm sorry to disturb you, but may I speak to squire alan?" her chestnut eyes gave the two boys a reason to flee.

Her two friends scrambled to their feet, her gaze was so much like her brothers it was unnerving. They hurriedly bow and said their farewells and dashed to find other seats.

Alanna looked at morgan confused. "Why are we still in here? Someone could overhear."

"It's better in here because there's more noise in here, they're less likely to hear than if we were out there." her eyes narrowed, "now, tell me, why are doing this to yourself? You could accomplish much more somewhere else than you could here."

Alanna was taken aback. "What do you mean? I was supposed to be here, my brother is-"

"Oh, would you just stop! You've kept it hidden all this time? Have you ever gone swimming? Have you ever left your door unlocked? How many people know?"

_Oh no. I'm not telling you ANYTHING. _"I'm sorry, I really have to be going, I must meet with my knight master right now." he finished with a note of challenge in her voice.

"Why won't you tell me in your own words? I figured you out the moment I saw you, you're just lucky Gary isn't as observant as me." she said venomously.

"If I tell you, you swear by the goddess that you won't say a word to Gary or the other?" she inquired. If she could get morgan to agree then she would actually be in the clear. If she ever needed a woman to talk to, she would have one. But only if everything went right.

"I swear by the great mother goddess and mithros as my witnesses, is blood necessary?" she swore in a mocking tone.

Alanna smiled, the girl was nice, and witty, just like her brother.

"Alright then, you can witness me telling Raoul," a thought struck her, "how'd you know I wasn't a boy? I fooled everyone here."

Morgan's face lit up. "I'm not sure, you're quite good lucking, but for some reason I wasn't attracted to you, in that way. I still like you, but only for your cleverness and cunning."

Alanna raised an eyebrow. "I'm cunning now?"

"You have to be to keep this hidden," she replied smoothly.

The walk from the mess hall was enjoyable. Morgan was interesting, telling Alanna tales from the convent that almost contained her. Alanna walked in shock when Morgan told her of the punishments.

When they arrived at Alanna's rooms, a small mewing sounded from behind the closed door. "Oh dear."

" what, I don't see anything wrong," said Morgan, confused by her new ally's reaction to her room.

"I was supposed to see to naming my new cat, and I forgot about him when... never mind, I'll tell you later," _once I figure it out for myself._

The small black cat rose on his hind legs and started begging. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" alanna cooed. "Morgan, I need a name."

"A cute name, or something that you would name a human?"

"I don't care, just say names! Before he decides to go vicious!"

"Blacky?" Morgan suggested.

"OUCH! No, he doesn't like it."

Several names and more bloodshed later, Morgan gave up, "think of your own name!"

"You're real faithful! _I'm_ the one getting clawed and going to die of blood loss if this continues!" the second Alanna said "faithful" the kitten's ear pricked forward.

Morgan laughed. "Well you finally found a name."

"But at what cost?"

A fast knock on the door drew them from their laughter. As Alanna pulled the door open, she was smacked in the face by a large fist. Alanna cursed as loudly, and badly, as any guardsmen.

"sorry, Alan, but I really need to speak to the lady Morgan," said the steward.

"I beg pardon right now before I get carried away, "Alanna started, "but why are you asking to speak with this noble lady? Surely you have business to attend."

"I was asked by a nobleman _squire_ Alan," was the growled reply.

"Which nobleman?" Alanna was not going to risk the safety of her friend's sister, just because someone who claimed to be sent by a nobleman was asking for her!

"He said not to say."

"Well then it looks like lady Morgan is staying with me," she replied, without her temper showing in her voice.

"Humph," was his last reply before he set off down the hallway.

Morgan looked shaken. _She doesn't know who would want to remain nameless when they sent for her,_ Alanna realized.

When the door was once again knocked on, Alanna told her companion to hide before she opened the door. To her great relief it was only Raoul, he looked at her strangely, as if there was something wrong. "Who was that man? The one who was walking away from the room."

"I'm not sure,"she replied, and hated herself for not knowing, "he wanted to talk to Morgan."

"Strange, anyways, sorry I never got around to talking to you earlier; I had some things to finish up," he explained.

Alanna sighed. Now was the time, but it was harder than she thought. "Umm, Raoul, I've got to tell you something. Morgan will remain present so she can confirm her story. Raoul, my name isn't Alan of Trebond. It's Alanna, my brother and I decided to switch places because I didn't want to be a lady, and he wants to be a great sorcerer. I went without being caught, and I trust that you won't tell Jon, Duke Gareth, or Gary?

Raoul's eye went wide with shock, "are you serious? Please say our just joking."

Tears seemed to want to cover her eyes. She held them back, along with all the rage and hurt she felt. "Why would I joke about something like this?"

Raoul was shaking his head, and mumbling things. Often alanna couldn't hear what he said, but every now and then she would catch a phrase like "how didn't I notice?" or "how did she pull it off?"

"I'm sorry I never told you sooner, I was scared that I would get caught and be sent home or worse," she said, sadly. _Please goddess, I'm begging you, don't let him change his mind about me being his squire._

Finally he sighed, "I can't really switch my squire now, I don't even want to."

Alanna almost sagged to the floor in relief. She grinned, "I knew you couldn't live without me."

They laughed. The only thing that brought them back to reality was the soft mewing of Faithful, who was begging for attention. Alanna smiled, you didn't need to be able to speak to animals to know that.

Raoul looked down and his black eyes widened to an extreme. "Now what are you playing at? You had better not be putting a spell on the cats eyes just for a joke."

"I'm not, I found him like that," Alanna said patiently.

Eyebrows were raised all around the room. Morgan was the first to recover and she laughed, "you know, the eyes are very attractive."

They continued to talk until lunch, then Morgan was summoned to lunch with the other ladies, or as Morgan so kindly referred to them as "stupid little airheads".

As Alanna and Raoul walked to the mess hall again, Alanna thought: _thank you! Please don't let me get on her bad side!_

They entered the mess hall to a cry of indignation.

**A/N: who's mad now? stay tuned to find out. anyways, like i said earlier, i will try to update as often as i can, and unless i get a good idea, i will try to update weekly. please read and review!**


	3. Anger, Ladies and More Anger

**Anger and Ladies and More Anger**

**DISCLAIMER: i own nothing that you recognize. **

**A/N: i already posted this chapter, but i changed a few things, just to make things easier on me, sorry about that.**

The cry came from Jonathan and Gary. If they hadn't looked so serious Alanna would have been amused about the synchronized yell and rush to their feet, and almost tripping over a page. They both had a look that could kill in their eyes, and they were directed at Raoul and his new squire. The two strode over to Alanna and Raoul with large steps and a brisk pace. Raoul looked at Alanna in what looked like fear, in return Alanna could only gesture helplessly.

Gary was the first to speak, " outside, now."

It seemed that the two could were so angry that they could only speak in small words.

Jonathan was seething. Raoul was both his and Gary's friend, so he went and took the one squire they both wanted and was flirting with Gary's sister! Why had Alan said yes? He thought he would want to be _his _squire, not Raoul's.

Gary was sorting out his own anger as well. This was his sister! Raoul could have at least told him. And there was Alan. If anyone was to blame it was Alan as well, he was also attempting to court Morgan.

"What's wrong with you two?" demanded Raoul, impatiently.

Gary and Jon glared. Gary was the first to speak, "what's wrong is that you are flirting with my sister!"

Alanna and Raoul were astonished. "You really thought that?" Raoul reached out a hand and touched Gary's shoulder, although Gary jumped like he was shocked. "I would never, ever, do anything like that, no matter how beautiful she is."

Alanna could see these two were friends again, but Jon still looked furious. Instead of just keeping her mouth shut she asked him outright, "Jon, what's wrong with you? You should at least look a little better now that Raoul and Gary are friends again."

"You don't know what's wrong?"

_If I knew I wouldn't be asking, _she thought irritably, but merely shook her head at the prince.

To everyone's shock, Jon started laughing; and not just a small laugh, a full laugh, the only problem was, was that it was humourless. "I wanted you as my squire, Alan. But he," he looked at Raoul, "decided that he would get everything he wanted with no regard to anyone else."

"That's it?" growled Raoul. "That's unbelievable! You're acting like a child who just had his toy taken away! You had a month from when I was gone to ask him, yet you didn't!"

"That's not the point!" Jon shouted back. "The point is that I am the prince- "

"So you get everything you want?" Raoul interrupted.

"Enough. If you continue with this, I will bring it before my father," Gary had obviously had enough of their fighting.

His threat silenced Raoul and Jon, but they still glared daggers at each other.

Running footsteps echoed in the hall around them. They looked around, searching for the people, but only saw the people who they were just fighting. Finally, a group of ladies walked around the corner, dragging a struggling Morgan. Upon seeing the knights the ladies broke out into a fit of giggles and Morgan rolled her eyes.

Finally one of the ladies elbowed Morgan and whispered something in her ear. Once again, Morgan rolled her eyes again, but she said, "my friends and brother, this is lady Cythera of Elden, lady Delia of Eldorne, lady Isabelle of Kings Reach, lady Destini of Silver Stone, lady Krista of Seabeth and Seajen and lady Jessica of Masbolle"

Alanna couldn't remember who each girl was, only Cythera and Delia because they were the most beautiful. Delia had dark brown hair and dark green eyes, and a perfect face a body, but kind of short. Cythera was tall blonde, big blue eyes and slim. Anyone who looked at her would be hooked. Except Delia looked like she knew she was a beauty and was going to get everything out of that she could. While Cythera looked more sweet and gentle.

One of the other ladies started talking to Alanna, "you mst be squire Alan of Trebond I've heard so much about you."

Alanna raised her eyebrow, "I hope a little of it was good."

The girl laughed, but it sounded fake, like the rest of her. She had shiny brown hair a thin face with tan skin, blue eyes, but was a bit bulky, like she had been doing heavy lifting and her nose looked too large for her face.

"Krista when you get your head out of the clouds of sexual fantasy and hormonal conceited feelings, you'll realize we have to go," one of the other girls said. Alanna smiled at her. She was short, the same height as Alanna, with shoulder length curly black hair, blue eyes with brown mixed in them, cupid's bow lips and a small, slightly wide nose. She was lady Jessica of Masbolle

The only girl to laugh at this, besides Morgan, was lady Isabelle. She was much different from Krista. She was tall, she came up to Raoul's shoulder; brown eyes with green hints, full lips and a long thin nose. Her skin was fair, and she didn't give off a self-loving air, rather the opposite.

Alanna could tell she liked these two girls, and hoped Morgan would introduce them more formally.

Krista sneered at the three girls who were laughing at her, and went to join Destini and Delia. The three walked off to their rooms.

Cythera look longingly at the small group, but walked after Krista.

Morgan sighed, "I feel bad for Cythera. She always has to be Delia and that crowd."

"I agree, it's unfair for her to have to be with girls like that," commented Isabelle. "Cythera's not like them, she did like the convent, but she likes designing dresses too. She has better things to do than to hang around with those..." she left her sentence unfinished for everyone to supply their own word.

Alanna laughed. She liked these girls, they were more like her than she thought. _I have to stop judging people like that,_ she resolved.

Gary's voice interrupted her thoughts, "where'd Jon go?"

Everyone looked around. Jonathan had vanished. Raoul looked disgusted, "he probably followed those girls."

Jessica looked like she was angry, her fists were clenching, but nothing vile came out of her mouth. "I don't know about you people," she started in a dignified voice, "but I'm hungry enough to eat like a soldier. Will anyone join me?"

Alanna's stomach growled. She never ate lunch because of the prince and his outburst. "If my lady will allow me, I would love to join you. Sir Raoul, would you allow me to have lunch with lady Jessica of Masbolle?"

Raoul smiled and nodded. He looked at lady Isabelle, and said, very formally like his squire, "will you join me for lunch with my new squire and friend of yours?"

"If I am not intruding," was the reply.

"Of course not, I will lead us to the mess hall."

Morgan looked at her brother. When he looked down, chestnut eyes met their match, he sighed and his shoulders slumped as he offered to escort her to the mess hall.

"Now, now, brother, no lady will accept an offer if you drone on like that," she called to him, and started to run when he made a move to grab her.

Her laugh sounded through the corridors and making everyone else look back with grins on their faces.

They reached the mess hall, and the onslaught of noise dragged them from their conversations. Then the pointing began, which was soon followed by whispers. It was like for a few minutes before one squire started yelling, "it's unfair! How did that, that, _girl _get a knight master before me?"

Alanna was scared, did he know too? Jessica intervened, "he's more of man than you are! So I don't see why you are speaking."

He glared at the lady. "I don't believe I asked you, wench."

Alanna thought Jessica was going to turn and walk out like every other court lady. But all she said was, "I'm no wench, and you are no noble. If you want to discuss anything like that, talk to my uncle, Duke Baird of Queenscove."

The young man stood flabbergasted. He had just insulted a Duke's niece. At least it wasn't Duke Gareth's daughter, although Alanna was wishing it was.

Isabelle stood up, and said clearly, "no matter of who she is, you shouldn't have been insulting any woman who enters a room."

"I agree," Morgan followed, completely enjoying tormenting the young man, "and you should not be rude about someone just because they have the place you want. Perhaps he just deserves it more than you do."

The boy's lethal gaze moved to stare at Morgan. "My name is Faron of Stone Mountain, and no one is my better. Also, a trollop like you has no place among _real_ nobility like myself." he said the last part with pride.

Someone cleared their throat at the door. Everyone swung around to see Duke Gareth and Gary standing there, white with unreleased rage.

Duke Gareth's voice shook with anger as he said, "Stone Mountain, apologize to the ladies Jessica of Masbolle and my daughter Morgan. Immediately. And I want three page essay on how to decently treat nobles of this court."

Now Gary was smiling. He knew his father would think of a punishment for insulting not only Baird's neice, but his own and one of the best fencers at court.

The rest of the meal went in peace a happiness, with the additions of Jessica, Isabelle, everyone was much more talkative. Finally Raoul told her to get ready for her new practice routines, but she was actually sorry to leave their company.

She went to her room to put on more appropriate practice gear, only to hear a sarcastic voice say, "_thank you for leaving me alone all day while you went out to be with the ladies."_

Alanna whirled around the room, looking for a person. But the only ones in the room were herself and Faithful. She looked at him and asked, "you can talk? Why weren't you talking yesterday?"

The cat rolled his eyes(or as much as rolling as you can get when you're a cat) and replied, "_I didn't want to. Besides, there were too many people in the room. If you answered me you would have looked completely insane."_

Alanna nodded. _I might as well get used to this. I actually like this little creature. _

"Sorry, but I got to go to the practise courts,"she said quickly.

"_I think I'll join you,_ Faithful said in a smug tone.

"Just so you can laugh at me lose to Raoul? I don't think so," she said eyebrows raising again.

He "smiled". "_I'm surprised your brows even come down, the amount of times you do that."_

Alanna growled in reply, and ran out the door. She didn't notice the black lump slinking inside the bushes in the direction of the practise courts.

**A/N: please review, if you have anymore comments to help me, i would greatly appreciate them. thanks, i'll update soon. hopefully.**


	4. Authors Note

**Authors Note**

Alrighty, I'm sorry about not updating for a while. Not really writers block, but writers are losing time because of other hobbies. So I'm sorry. Also, I am planning to make this Alanna/ Raoul. There will NOT be any Alanna/ Jon, sorry to those fans. And there will be some death, no one important, just one of the OCs. Try to guess who and how, lol.

Right, well I'm off, sorry to bother you with an Authors Note, please keep reading, I will update as soon as I get my chapter done, no waiting until my computer is fixed.

Thanks,

Neurotically Yours


	5. Practise Courts and Royalty

**Practise Courts and Royalty**

**Disclaimer: i own nothing you recognize.**

**thanks to all who have reviewed. if i knew you i would continue to ramble, but i dont so thank you is all i cal say.**

_Oh goddess, this is too much! Why'd you do this to me? I know you said something about a hard life or similar to that, but come on! This is unreasonable! _Alanna thought as she raced down to the practise court.

It took her longer than usual to reach them, all because she lost her footing on the stairs. Grumbling about having sore backside while fencing and, Alanna shuddered, jousting with Raoul. While Alanna was a good fencer, there was no way she could beat her largest friend.

Raoul stood in the centre of the court, tapping his foot and shaking his head. As she approached him, she realized he was smiling; she sent him a mock glare and started stretching.

"Squire, must I teach you the importance of punctuality? Because I can assure you I don't appreciate it, I have better things to do with my time,"he said, jokingly.

Alanna rolled her eyes, "like what? Attempting to court ladies, except being too shy to go after the really beautiful, although snotty, ones."

He widened his eyes in mock hurt, "I resent that comment. But I must admit, you do know me."

Alanna smiled as she finished stretching. Taking out Lightning she moved herself into the "guard" position. She quirked an eyebrow in challenge.

Raoul dramatically sighed. "Must you always start with fencing?"

"Of course."

He grinned, "you're just one short yet incredibly large pain."

"That's why you took me as your squire, isn't it?"

His sword was out and ready for the fight. When they heard the sound to begin Alanna down and in, bringing her herself under Raoul's attack. Unfortunately he saw it coming; he had moved back and brought his sword up above her head. She brought Lightning up, barely blocking his assault; and tried to move back. His height and weight made it nearly impossible for her to move, so she threw herself forward, rolling as she went. Raoul turned and almost got hit with her sword. He jumped back and brought his sword downwards, closing onto her head again. She moved back, sideways, and forwards bringing herself within striking distance. His sword caught in the momentum of the swing led him unable to stop her from bringing Lightning to his throat.

He lowered his sword with a grimace and complained, "this is why you shouldn't start with fencing! Whenever I fence you or Alex I always want to hang my head in shame and never raise it!"

Alanna smiled wearily, "nice to know I'm better than most people."

"Yeah, and anyways, jousting," was Raoul's reply.

"Yay, flying lessons," Alanna murmured.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," alanna sighed.

The two readied their horses, Raoul happily, Alanna sullen. She hated jousting, she was so small and didn't have enough force behind her hits that she always went flying. When they reached the tilting lanes, Raoul shook her hand and trotted his horse to the other end of the field. Alanna took deep breaths and told herself they were only going to have a few bouts, then they could move onto archery. _All the more fun. At least I don't fly during this exercise._

The call sounded and Moonlight surged forward startling poor Alanna out of her thoughts. She quickly set herself up and hoped for the best.

The splintering crash rang in Alanna's ears as she got slammed back against her saddle.

"Ready for another one?" Raoul called across the field.

"No, but I have no choice in the matter, "she replied.

They laughed and got ready again. Four more bouts later, three of them ending with a red-headed squire landing on the ground, they stopped. But only stopped jousting.

He guided the dazed Alanna to the archery area. They had a shooting contest, best three out of five. Alanna won, though barely.

Finally they got to wrestling. Alanna almost charged off to her rooms before she got a chance to be squished under her giant knight-master.

By the time Alanna had been beaten repetitively in almost every contest they had, the sun was setting, giving Alanna the time to race to her rooms and rest her aching muscles.

"_Wow, I thought my new mistress was good at such arts,"_ Faithful said sarcastically.

"Shut it!" snapped Alanna. She had been abused in the courts, and now she was being made fun of it by her cat? How is this fair?

He merely trotted towards her bath and jumped onto the stool where she left her towels. "_But I really thought you were talented. You know, with the fighting and the jousting and all the other thing you love." _

She death glared him. " you know what, little cat? I don't have to listen to you. I can merely you shove under my dirty bath water and leave you! So don't try me!"

He rolled his eyes at her outburst. _"If you are going to be testy, I might as well just leave you here to fend for yourself. Never helping should worse come to worst and someone powerful like Roger of Conte find out about you."_

She sat up in the water, splashing Faithful in her rush. "Sorry, what was that about Roger? Does he know something? Tell me!"

"_I can't exactly say. He knows there is something strange about you, but he doesn't know yet. Oh and I finally met those ladies you were talking to yesterday. They are indeed odd, particularly Morgan, Jessica and Isabelle. Try to stay away from Krista and that crowd."_

"If you think I never realised that you really have no faith in me, " she said to him dryly.

The evening bell rang; Alanna cursed. She jumped out, barely grabbing her towel in her rush to leave the room and to get dressed for supper.

She rushed down to the mess hall willing her hair to lie flat. Apparently someone else had the same idea, but they didn't dry their hair enough. She fell to the ground and started cursing even more.

She looked up to see a pair of bright blue eyes. Jon stood above her, a bitter smile on his lips. Never before had Alanna been scared of those eyes. Never before had she been so intimidate by her prince and friend. Now she knew what Ralon felt like when jon snapped at him, when he called him cruel names, when he defended her from people like Ralon. "So, Alan, what a... pleasant-"the way he said it made Alanna think of Roger-" surprise. Surely you realize your master is waiting for you."

"Your Highness, of course I realise. Do you believe that I am merely lying in a puddle of water out of my own amusement?"

"You were always strange, so I did not know how to handle someone like you," he said calmly, but for some reason, Alanna would feel safer if he was yelling. "You have no patience as I have discovered."

"Are you implying that it is my fault that Raoul asked me first and that I did not keep my options open when a wonderful knight asked me?"

"Perhaps," he sighed and trotted off to his rooms.

Completely shaken and fearing entering the hall late, Alanna trembled. But she knew she had to wait on Raoul and whoever his guest, or guests were.

She entered the hall and walked to Raoul's table. She thanked the goddess that Raoul was so large that he was easy to see. She arrived at his table to her astonishment Gary, Morgan, Jessica and Isabelle were sitting with them.

"My ladies, and sirs, how may I assist you with dinner this fine evening," she inquired as the etiquette master instructed during her page years.

"You don't need to be formal or serve us tonight, Alan," Gary said, "we have servants tonight to celebrate the marriage between lady Krista of Seabeth and Seajen and Sir Adrian of Nond."

"Destini almost had a fit when she heard the news!" Jessica said gleefully. Everyone at the table knew how the three women sitting with them hated Krista, Destini and Delia.

Isabelle added, "I'm surprised Delia didn't start with her."

"Yeah, and also, do you any of you notice how Delia looks at the Duke of Conte?" inquired Morgan.

Gary looked thoughtful, "I haven't, but she does spend a lot of time with Jon."

Alanna and Raoul quieted and blushed faintly. Unfortunately, Morgan wasn't the only one who was good at noticing small details, for Jessica promptly asked, "why are those two blushing? Are you not on terms with the prince?"

Raoul snorted, "that's an understatement."

Jessica's lips formed the word "oh" and she looked down.

Alanna glanced around the room., "hey, Gary, where's Douglass? I thought he was your squire."

Gary grinned, "he is the one to serve us."

They laughed, poor Douglass hated serving more that two people at a time.

Their server arrived, and they all smiled at him, Jessica had a flirtatious smile on her beautiful face as she looked him over. Morgan and Isabelle smiled at their friend, who normally hid in corners unless asked to dance. Thankfully, no one but the ladies and Alanna noticed anything out of the ordinary.

"Doug!" cried Alanna, "it's been so long!"

Douglass raised an eyebrow with a crooked smile rivaling George's, "yes, I'm sure a whole two days was torture for you."

Jessica was the first to laugh, Alanna noticed she always was. The others followed suit, after noticing he had turned pink after the lady of Masbolle laughed.

"Have you spoken to Geoffrey lately?" asked Raoul.

Douglass shook his dark head. "He spends all his time with Jonathan."

"Just like Alex did when he was chosen by Roger" Alanna muttered, but was overridden by the sound of a fake laugh and joyous calls of "Good luck!" by random nobility.

"The celebrations have begun. Midwinter in fall is upon us," Isabelle murmured into Alanna's ear. "This is why I tried to keep Krista as downtrodden as possible, otherwise she goes all out like this."

Alanna could see the problem with a person like that.


	6. Gossip and the Dancing Dove

**Gossip and the Dancing Dove**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING YOU RECOGNIZE.**

**A/N: i'm a bad person, i said it would be a while for the next few chapters. oh well, enjoy.**

That night, Jessica, Morgan and Isabelle discussed what they had learned form everyone. Morgan trusted these two. Jessie and Belle were strong minded. They had both wanted to be knights, or warriors or something to enabled them to help people. But they were told no and sent to the convent, only to destroy the rules most girls loved and understood.

Right now Jessie looked like she was deep in thought. _About what?_ Morgan would never know what went on inside that head of hers.

As if Jessie heard Morgan's thought's she looked up and asked, "don't you find that squire Douglass rather handsome?"

Belle turned to look at Jessie who turned pink at the sudden attention. " I _knew_ you were flirting with him during dinner!"

"I can't help it! He seems so nice, and if your brother took him as a squire he must be doing something right!" she said quickly.

Morgan smiled wryly, "yeah, but he and the prince wanted Alanna as their squire."

"Alanna?" the other two asked in unison.

"Yes, Alanna of Trebond," Morgan said and looked at them like Delia and Destini often did.

Jessie's eyes narrowed. "No. There is no way 'Alanna' could pull off something like this."

"Jessie's right. This is huge; surely someone knows," commented Belle.

"There are people, me, Raoul, and you two."

Jessie shook her head, causing pins to fly out and scatter around the room. "I don't want to be dragged into something like this! If your father or the prince, or _anyone_ found out, we'll be in trouble."

"She won't be caught."

"What makes you so sure?" this was starting to annoy Belle.

"She hasn't been caught yet, so she probably never will. Especially now that her father has died."

"Black God rest his soul," they murmured.

They had a moment of silence not in memory of the old lord of Trebond but of nothing to speak of . Finally Jessie spoke, "Morgan?"

"What?"

"Do you know anything of a man named Alex? He was squire to Duke Roger."

Morgan's head snapped up. "Yes, of course I do. He was one of my brother's friends. Why?"

"Because Alan- Alanna- said something about they way that Geoffrey is just like Alex because they both spent a lot of time with their knight-master. Something about it being not quite normal, it seems."

Belle had tired of this conversation, and made it known by saying, "this is enough. We're meddling, and the only Morgan has any right to even consider such things. And I don't think Alan is a girl, if so then she might want to flirt with her knight-master."

"Why? Do you think he's 'flirtable'?" asked Jessie.

"Well..."

"Oh my goodness!" cried Jessie exasperated at her friend.

"What" snapped Belle, rather offended.

"Whatever."

With that, the three slowly fell into a sleep. Morgan fell asleep last, still considering what Jessie had said.

* * *

While the ladies were talking, so were the men that they were thinking about. Douglass was thinking about the short, dark haired lady. She seemed so calm, so intelligent. Lady Jessica of Masbolle. He sighed internally, Alan would probably notice. He always noticed things like that, and it was getting annoying. 

Gary was also thinking of one of the women sitting with them. Lady Isabelle of King's Reach, it was incredible how tall she was, especially when her companion was the size of Alan.

Raoul was also in thought. It was the same as Alanna. How could they get Douglass to go to bed so the other three could visit George. Finally the two came up with a plan. "Hey, Gary." called Alanna

"Hmmm..."

"Could you look at my paper?"

"Why can't Raoul?"

She rolled her eyes and replied, "you're better at the history of Tortall, while Raoul's better at the fighting arts."

"Fine." but when Gary looked at it he read, _get rid of Douglass. Come see George with us_.

He almost smiled. "Douglass, you're free for the rest of the night. I'll call for you in the morning."

"Thank you," said Douglass with a glad smile, and left.

The three waited a little while before heading out to the city. On the ride there, Alanna considered telling Gary about who she really is. _No. The less people who know about me the better._ But she still felt bad about leaving Gary in the dark.

Music filled the air. Music without instruments. Alanna looked over to see Raoul singing softly. She didn't know the lyrics, so there was a chance he was making it up.

"I never thought, I'd die alone, I laughed the loudest who'd've known..." Raoul sang softly, almost as if he was hoping no one would notice.

"What are you singing?" Gary asked gently; if Raoul was in one of his moods, he didn't want to be responsible for having to carry a very large drunk knight back to the palace.

"I don't know, the words just popped into my head."

Alanna nodded, impressed. Raoul wasn't known for being poetic, and this was really good. Going against tradition, but then, who was she to talk?

They reached the dancing dove and smiled. This was the one place where they could forget their troubles and simply enjoy the sweet intoxication and euphoria that lasts until they fall asleep.

The second they got in there, Raoul went for the bar, Gary went to talk to one of the thieves, Lightfingers, while Alanna sought out George. It was a struggle, not for the first time she wished she was as large as Raoul. She finally reached solom, and had to shout over the noise at the inn. She was lead to a back room where George sat watching the rest of the louts wrestle about and women work their charm on men. She smiled; these were some of the nicest people she knew. Despite their lives, they could be more deserving of nobility than some people she knew or saw.

"Lass, it's been too long," George said warmly.

"I know, but I've been busy," she explained.

He smiled, "I'm sure being a squire of Goldenlake is tirin'."

Alanna gaped at him. "How did you know that?

He smiled his crooked smile and said, "my sources."

"Humph. So you probably heard about the three odd ladies that arrived at Court yesterday?"

"Maybe," he replied slyly. "I also hear one of the not- so odd ones is getting married."

"Yes, Lady Krista of Seabeth and Seajen. I don't like her."

"I didn't think you would. You don't like anyone who doesn't show any uniqueness," he said, still smiling.

Alanna laughed. He was right about that. "So, what's going tonight that everyone is celebrating so much harder than usual?"

"They heard of the upcoming marriage and decided what better time to celebrate than now? Besides, they haven't had a time to let loose like this since my birthday."

"Oh," said Alanna. "If you don't mind, I think I might join them."

He laughed and grabbed her arm, "I'm not letting you go down there alone. You never know what could happen."

She raised an eyebrow, but lowered it when George started to open the door.

Alanna drank more than what was wise, but not enough to be completely gone mentally. Finally she tired of having ale, and went in search of Raoul. She found him, unconscious, and slumped across a table. Shaking her head, she sought out Gary. Thankfully, he looked almost sober. She asked him to help her get Raoul out of here.

It was the most difficult thing: getting gary to the table where Raoul lay, picking him up, carrying him through the masses of people, getting him onto his horse, and riding back to the palace.

The two struggled to get their giant friend into his bed. The second raoul was on the bed he ran, he did not want to se his best friend drunk out of mind. Alanna stayed to make sure everything was set up when he woke up with a killer hang over, and a bucket for the eventual vomiting.

Alanna left the door unlocked, just incase he needed her for something.

When she entered her room, there was someone in it already.

Alanna swallowed a scream. She remembered her. "Why have you come to me, my mother?"

There was no amusement in her eyes this time. "I am not here for long, just to give you one thing."

"Which is?" Alanna was unsure about this meeting. Everything was going good, so why was the Goddess here?

The immortal pulled out a small stone like object. "Please keep this safe, I promise you, you will as safe as you can be in this world right now."

Before another words could be said, she had vanished.

Alanna looked her gift. It was a stone, with a crystalized shell. Inside, it seemed to burn a small fire. There was even a small hole that she could fit a chain through.

A low moan from Raoul's room drew her to the door.

"Hey, Raoul, are you okay?"

Another moan.

"Shouldn't have drank so much," she said in a sing-song voice.

"How can you be so... peppy... you drank a lot, too," he moaned, hands over his head.

"I can handle my liquor better?" she suggested, and almost got a pillow in the face because of it.

"Hey, don't do this to me! Gary and I brought you back after you passed out on a table! I even went to the liberty of making your room fit for a drunk!"

"Did you make anything for a hangover?" he asked. When she shook her head he said, "looks like it wasn't made for a drunk then."

She rolled her eyes and walked over to the bed, ready to work healing magic on him.

She knelt down by the bed and was immediately grabbed around the waist and pulled close to him. His lips pressed against hers for a few seconds. Surprisingly, Alanna didn't pull back at the first touch; rather, she instinctively moved closer to him. But the second he deepened the kiss she shoved him away.

She glared at him. "Just for that, no magic for hangovers." and stalked out of the room.

She lied down on her bed, her mind swirling with completely random thoughts. Chief among them was the fact that she actually like the kiss. It wasn't just the kiss, it was the way she first felt when he touched her. The way her mind seemed to cloud even more from that than the alcohol. The feeling inside that made her feel safe. It was the best she ever felt, but she needed to forget it; she knew Raoul was drunk so he probably won't even remember this.

When she fell asleep faithful remarked_, "she actually enjoyed it if it took her this long to sleep."_ and smiled. He wandered into Raoul's room to see how the man took it.

Raoul sat in his bed, head in his hands cursing himself. _Why did I do that? Mithros, why did I do that!_ Then he straightened pulled the blankets over him and attempted to sleep. But he didn't succeed. He tossed and turned for an hour before finally just lying down on the floor. His was haunted by violet eyes.

Shaking his head at the folly of the two, he went to sleep. He would see in the morning how they will treat each other.

**please review. if you plan to review thank you in advance.**


	7. Piecing it Together

**Piecing it Together**

**Disclaimer: if i owned these characters i wouldn't be writing stories in a FANFICTION website.**

**A/N: **not many people are reviewing! why not? please review! and this is basically just a chapter, it has no real merit... please review on it anyways! i'm already started on the next one!

* * *

Alanna's restless sleep was ruined by the large bell that woke everyone in the palace. Grumbling about a bad night, and even worse sleep, she walked over to her privy. She looked at herself in the mirror, and wryly. _Pretty horrible_, she thought to herself, willing herself to look like she was alive. Her hair was dull and frizzed, her eyes uninterested. Even her skin seemed to be against her, it was pale with small bits of acne popping up.

While summoning her magic, she heard a sarcastic comment behind her. "_Well now, that was one of the most entertaining things I've seen in a while."_

Alanna glared at her cat. "Don't start with me. I am no mood for this!"

"_What if I heed the voice of insanity and continue with my incessant chatter. What if I want to discuss the occurrences of the last night? What if I were to ask you-" _he was cut off by the pillow that had almost landed on him.

"I said stop it!" Alanna's temper was rising. She stalked over to her bed and held the thrown pillow to her chest. "Whatever happened last night never happened! Understood?"

Faithful smiled smugly and replied, "_I think I would rather remind your friend in the other room about it._ Without another word he started to trot off to Raoul's rooms.

Before he could step more than five steps, Alanna tackled him to the ground, throwing a pillowcase over top of him, closed it and tossed it onto her bed. Even as she walked away she could hear growled curses and violent clawing. She had to smile, even though he was a bit irritating at times, he was still funny.

Shaking her head she turned out of her rooms and started the walk to mess hall. She looked in to see her knight-master, looking even worse than her: he was green in the face, and slumped over his meal. She couldn't help but be slightly angry with him. He had touched her, _kissed_ her, and now he only looked hung over while she was up almost all night because she knew he was just drunk and probably wouldn't remember it in the morning. That hurt more than knowing what he did, at least if he remembered he would know not to do it again, but now... things changed too much for this!

She resisted the urge to turn and run back to her room, claiming she was sick. Two things stopped her; one: he would come see his ill squire, two: it wouldn't be believable, she rarely got sick and when she did, she applied healing magic to herself. Alanna also knew if she turned back Raoul might think she was a coward. She told herself that he was her knight-master, but in her Faithful-like area of mind, she knew it was another reason.

She placed her head in her hands, took a deep breath and took one step towards the hall when someone laid a hand on her should. Before she even looked around she rammed the person against the wall, then look up into sapphire blue eyes. Her own violet eyes widened, and she cursed silently.

Jon looked uncomfortable. As he shifted his weight from foot to foot she couldn't help but think about the way the kingdom was going to be when he was king.

When he finally calmed down he said, " listen, Alan, I'm sorry for the way I treated you and your knight-master. If I can repay you in any way, please let me or my squire know." and he walked away.

A thought struck Alanna so hard it almost hurt. He had said "your knight-master" not Raoul. She looked at him, he was about to open the door to the hall. She ran to him grabbed his arm and said, "there is something you can do."

The prince raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really. Now what would that be?"

"I want you to repeat you apology, except instead of using 'your knight-master' use his name." her chin went up at the end in challenge.

He growled lightly. She punched him in arm; he was going to do this: he had too much honour not to.

"Fine. Alan, I'm sorry for the way I treated you and Raoul." something about the way he said Raoul's name made Alanna think of the way she often said Roger's. With disgust and wariness.

She suddenly thought of another something. "Are you going to say this to Raoul?"

"I was." but the way he said it she didn't quite believe him.

"Well I want to see it then."

On anyone but the prince she knew, that would have qualified as a scowl. "Fine, but I won't do it in the mess hall."

"Why not? Are you scared of the ladies we're sitting with? Because trust me, they are no Delia or Destini."

"You mean I won't be attracted to them."

Alanna's mouth hung open for a minute. "Do you even _know_ them?" she demanded.

"I heard about them from Delia."

Alanna's heart rate was rising. Her breathing was becoming uneven, she knew if she didn't get a rein on her temper she would explode. "You believe that lying whore?"

"Don't say that!" he snarled.

"I'll say whatever I damn well want! You may be the prince, but you're also my friend, and I really don't think being around your precious Delia is a good idea!"

Jon snorted. "She happens to be very nice."

"When she wants a nicer place to say for the night!"

They stood there, glaring daggers at each other.

"Alan!"

Alanna looked behind her to see Morgan running towards her arms outstretched, smiling from ear to ear.

"Have you heard from Gary? It's wonderful!" she cried out.

Alanna smiled. Not much could get Morgan of Naxen smiling like she was now. "No I haven't. What is it?"

Her grin turned sly. "he's courting Cythera of Elden."

"Are you serious?" Alanna asked gleefully.

"Yes!"

"Oh, Mithros, he's not gonna go one day without me asking how his time with her was."

Morgan smiled, looked around. "Where did our prince -not-so-charming go?"

Alanna laughed, then gazed into the mess hall, to see him sitting with his parents and squire.

_Coward_, Alanna thought coldly.

"Are we going in or what?" Morgan asked, sounding very much like Destini. She looked at her to see a quick, yet very wry, grin.

"Sorry, I was very preoccupied." she replied.

"If I ever hear such an understatement I will send a letter.," she said, her joking voice rang throughout the hall.

The two walked to the table where Raoul, Jessica, Isabelle, and Douglass sat. Alanna smiled to see Jessica and Douglass chatting eagerly, but a bit hurt to see Raoul looking at Isabelle with such liking. _What am I doing to myself? I don't care if he likes another girl, I'm his squire I should be happy for him and Isabelle, not jealous!_

Her eyes must have filled with something because Morgan caught her attention, jerked her head at Raoul and then raised an eyebrow. In return, Alanna mouthed the words "I'll tell you later."

Alanna looked at Raoul and said, "Raoul, I got your armour." she laughed a laugh that sounded very fake. "I forgot to tell you."

Jessica and Douglass didn't notice anything, they were still very involved in their conversation. Isabelle did. _Maybe Morgan was right._ Thought Isabelle as she looked at the look "Alan" was shooting Raoul.

"Of course. I'm sorry Isabelle, this is really important, though," Raoul was saying.

"It's no trouble at all," she said, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

the two nodded a farewell as the left their companions. They didn't say a word until they reached Raoul's room.

Alanna turned and the air around the two of them turned very cold. Even though a flame was in her eyes, the air was icy. He looked at her, confused.

"What was all that about last night? I know you were drunk but I assumed that you had more sense!" she said, completely vicious.

Raoul was stunned. "Yeah, I was really, really, drunk and I don't know why I did it! If I knew I would answer you!"

"I know you would, it's just that," she sighed, "even a drunk man could tell I'm a different person. I'm sure you could see that, but you went anyways. I need to know why you didn't stop."

Raoul ran his hand through his dark hair. "I don't know!" he looked over to Alanna jump, like he had scared her or something.

"What's wrong?" he was getting very vexed.

"You hardly ever lose your temper, and when you normally it's more important than what I am talking to you about," she replied softly.

"I know, I'm sorry, it's just, I might be more confused about this than you are," Raoul said, shoulders slumped.

"I highly doubt that."

"You never know," he was really trying to get her to believe him.

"Alright, maybe you're right. So, having fun with Isabelle?" she asked slyly, taking pleasure in his blush.

He cleared his throat, though his face was still red. "I like Isabelle, no not in that way," noting the look Alanna gave him, "but I don't think I would flirt with her."

"Oh really, why? This had better not be Jon's response either!" she warned, but her dancing eyes took away from the effect.

"What was Jon's response?"

She snorted. "He said he wouldn't because _Delia_ told him about them."

Raoul raised his eyebrows and shook his head then said, "What happened to him?"

Alanna smiled sadly at him. "I think he just realized he's royalty."

"I don't know, he's always known he was royalty."

"That's not the way I meant it. I mean, you showed him even royalty can't have everything."

They continued to talk for a while, until finally deciding to forget about the kiss, that it had only been a drunken mistake. A little while later Raoul left Alanna to get ready for practise. When the door shut behind him she murmured, "well that's probably all I'm going to get."

"_Don't worry, things will get better, just give it time._"

Alanna's eyes started to burn, and a lump rose in her throat and she sat down on her bed, picked up her odd cat and asked, "Faithful, why is this happening? I used to be so close with Jon, now he won't even talk to talk me, or apologize to Raoul. And Raoul. You know what's going on. You're almost half my mind. Please tell me why."

"_If I could I would. You don't sound that great when your voice is cracking either."_

The tears had started. Now they streamed down her face like a steady river. She began to sob, and held Faithful even tighter. Her lips twitched at his last comment.


	8. Pride and Chance

**Pride and Chance**

**Disclaimer: i dont own any of the characters you recognize. **

**A/N:I got a person asking me to stop jon bashing coughtortallanridercough, so it ends here tonight. Please review, and thanks to everyone who have.**

* * *

As Alanna strode for the training yard, her thoughts still in shambles, she saw a large group of men, all dressed in blue, white and silver. These were the men of the King's Own.

Her eyebrow raised. The men of the Own were not known for their bravery, if anything they were known for how many women they had been with. She almost sneered at the noblemen standing in front of her; Alanna could almost assume she was braver than these "men".

Her haughty thoughts were interrupted by a tall man, not as tall as Raoul but close, wearing the sign of Commander. He had light brown hair that was cut short, even shorted than pages, so that it brushed the top of his ears. He had almond shaped brown eyes, and a firm mouth. His nose was rather small in comparison to the rest of him. He was Lord Jordan of Darroch.

"Men!" he called across the court, "we are having a man come join us today. He is a renowned fighter and is bringing along his own squire. Please welcome Sir Raoul of Goldenlake."

There as a patter of applause, not as loud as it should have been.

"And his squire, Alan of Trebond."

The only sound that filled the air was that of birds and crickets.

"Anyways, there was reports of raiding a small village to the north of us, they say it's pretty bad. Bring your things, you have till noon." with that he stepped away from everyone and started walking away from company.

Raoul caught her as she started the walk to her room. "Hey, I'm sorry I never told you about this, I just think it would be a good way to get some field experience. Besides, I'm going to complain to Jon, the way they act is unbelievable. They make ladies like Destini seem fierce. I'm not going to let this go on."

"Why do you want to do this? I know you, you always have other motives," she told him. "And I thought he'd be more for bigger, exaggerated speeches.

He smiled. "Yes, well, I want you there as my witness. And he is, just wait until we leave the palace."

Alanna nodded in understanding, looking over the men who were supposed to be protecting the realm. "I'll be right back. I have to grab a few things from my room."

"Like your cat?" he asked, all too innocently.

She stuck her tongue out at him and walked towards her room. She started to walk faster, until she reached an all out sprint. Before she realized what was happening she felt the floor beneath her, the cold stone bruising her face. For a few minutes all was silent, until a rich laugh filled the halls. She looked behind her to see Jonathan, doubled over, clutching his stomach. Her voice was dry when she said, "nice to see someone having fun."

He shook his head, still laughing. "yeah, I must say, I missed your bouts of absentmindedness," he sighed. "I know you and Raoul are going out again, I don't know if you'll make it back." when Alanna opened her mouth to protest, he cut her off. " wait. I just don't want to end things on bad terms. With you, or Raoul."

She simply stared at him. "You were being a prick!"

"I know." his voice was muffled because his head was lowered.

"And do you really think we will forgive you just like that?" she demanded. She knew she was being unfair, but he had acted like a spoiled child.

"I was hoping. I know I acted like a four year old. I now realize that if I continue like that, the country I make will be destroyed before I end my coronation."

"You're right about that." she glanced around the hall."where's Geoffrey?"

"I gave him the day off. He deserves it." he grinned. "Poor guy's been putting up with my moping about two friends I lost because of my pride."

"We were never lost. Just not there."

"That's not the point. I lost your trust and your friendship, only to gain your anger. It wasn't pleasant. Right now all I want is to gain it back."

Alanna knew it shouldn't have, but she was moved. Jon had never admitted he was wrong, and now here they were, standing in a corridor, a bruise rising on a young girl's face, the prince apologizing with his hand outstretched, ready for forgiveness after being consumed by guilt.

"Hello?" Raoul's voice was so close and loud it made the two jump.

"Crap!" she hissed. "I have to pack!"

"Alright, I hope you'll forgive me."

"I do," she said as she ran for room.

"Hey, Jon, have you seen Alan?" Raoul asked.

"He just went to his room. You might want to get him some meat for his cheek, too." he got a sparkle into his eyes, and walked away whistling.

"Wait!"

The prince turned. "What's wrong?"

"I'm going out with the King's Own, and I was going to report substandard results from them."

"Your point is?"

"I want you to stay close to the palace until I get back. I'm not going to come back and find my one voice at court gone on some adventure."

"Some adventure?" Jonathan asked, entirely amused. "What if my realm needs me? What if myself and my squire are desired to protect a village of innocent people?"

"Then someone else, like Gary, takes over."

"Fine," he said, still smiling, "you should see to your squire."

"Of course."

"And, Raoul?"

"What?" he asked, Jon just told him to talk to his squire, now he was holding him back?

"I'm sorry."

Raoul turned to look at him. "Your forgiven, just do this again, please."

The two separated; Raoul to Alanna's room, Jon to his own. Raoul knocked on the door, and started to feel uncomfortable.

"I don't have time to talk right now!" was the call.

"It's Raoul." the second he finished the last sentence, the door swung open. Alanna looked up to face him and laughed at the way his widened when he saw the bruise on her face. "I fell down."

"Were you in a fight?" he teased.

"No, for once I actually fell down!" she said and with a small laugh.

"Right, almost done packing?" Raoul inquired, eying all the bags on the ground.

"Yes, I just have to grab one last thing," she replied and searched her the area until she spotted a black lump. She grabbed him, placed him on her left shoulder so that both sets of violet eyes were leveland nodded.

Raoul sighed. He knew there was a chance that they would never make it out, there was a very large chance that the Own would break and run.

"Listen, there's a chance we could die," he started, but before he could continue, Alanna had cut him off.

"And we'll take the chance, we have to find those raiders. There was a chance I could've died when you and Gary found that one afternoon. I knew I was tempting death by choosing this life, but I don't care. There are tons of people in Tortall, they need someone to look up to, someone to frown down upon. I'm going to be that person. I will never refuse a cry of help, no matter what, and I'm not going to right now." she said, the flame back in her eyes.

Raoul nodded slowly. "If your sure?"

"This is why I became your squire."

"Thanks, I really didn't want to leave behind a good fighter. One that won't run when attacked."

"Goldenlake, I never run."

* * *

Trumpets blasting called Alanna's attention to the front, to the man who should never be in command.

Rage pulsed through her veins like hot lava; the man stood at the front, his hand mere inches from a stable boy's face. She never thought, before she realised it, she was on the ground running towards Lord Jordan. She was furious. He would not hit the child and get away with it, without thinking, she reached for her neck, like you with a necklace. What she felt shocked her; it was the stone, for some reason it gave her strength.

A loud smack rang in her ears and the small boy fell to the ground, whimpering. Violet magic pooled around Alanna's outstretched hand, whipping around the general's face, leaving red welts. He glared at her.

"Insubordinate child!" he cried in pain and rage. He took steps towards Alanna, despite the fact that she had magic, and he didn't. A hand grabbed Alanna's shoulders, pulling her away from jordan, and the fight she craved. A voice whispered in her ear, "don't! Squire, you may be good with a sword, but my lord is probably better. Don't try his patience, he has connections."

"So do I!" she hissed viciously. "I can beat Duke Gareth of Naxen one third of the time! What makes you think I can't handle myself? I won't break formation like a stallion near a mare, and I could probably lead better than he could!"

"Don't start with that," he replied tartly, "and why are you doing this?"

"He hit an innocent child, I'm going to become a knight, so why should I let people walk all over everyone I'm supposed to protect?"

The hands turned her to face him. The man wasn't that old, only twenty or so, with black hair, brown eyes, with scars on his face. He was tall, about as tall as Raoul, but skinny, some of the ladies at the palace might envy his build. His voice was that of an educated man, and joking, more dry and sarcastic humour than anything else. He seemed to be the type to point out the obvious and get beaten for it. He smiled wickedly. "Just don't get on his bad side. He isn't all that stable in his mind. He might turn on you in battle, so don't anger him."

"So, glorious saviour, do you have a name other than that?" she asked sharply.

"I do, I'm Dean of Fenrigh. And a child like you must have a small name as well."

"Alan of Trebond." she said with confidence.

Dean's eyebrows raised. "I thought you were just being arrogant about being a good fencer I didn't actually think you could best someone like that at their own sport."

"Well I can," she said and looked ahead. Raoul was riding towards her, and everyone else started moving.

"How long are you here for?" Dean called.

"I'm not sure, only as long as my knight-master wants to."

"Well, if your staying until the end of this chase, I'll be seeing a lot of you." was his last reply and disappeared into a sea of blue, silver and white.

A raven in the distance seemed to be laughing at Alanna and Dean. When she looked at it she realised it wasn't the proper colour of deep black, but a brown black. The second Alanna took notice of its abnormalities, it took to the sky, still jeering at the lady squire and her companions.


	9. Plotting Death

**Plotting Death**

**Disclaimer: refer back to my other disclaimers for the rest of this.**

**A/N: **thanks to all who reviewed, i will have another chapter soon!

* * *

Roger swooped into his workroom, startling Delia. The green eyed women glared at him, "I hope you found something useful. That wasn't funny by any means!" 

The man chuckled as he regained his human form. "I can assure you, everything is going to work. The boy, Alan of Trebond, won't be here after his daring incident with the commander of the King's Own."

"How so?" asked Delia, "the man is rigid with honour; you couldn't pay him enough to switch sides. And what incident?"

"Alan used his magic to hit Jordan. You know that man, Dean of Fenrigh, he's going to be in the way, and in a leading squad."

"Meaning, he could be killed and no one think anything of it?"

"Exactly," Roger's gaze swept around the room. "Were you able to seduce my dear Jonathan?"

"Yes," her head proudly raised.

"Good, still wrapped around your little finger?"

"I am unsure. Give me a week and I will tell you." she said, though Roger didn't know it, she was scared. Alan actually was good at most things, and if the prince had regained his friendship with the midget there would be problems.

_Nothing I can't deal with_, she thought deviously.

"Actually, Delia, I want to shake them up. Get rid of a few pawns; however you want to say it. Who is close to them, but won't require a great deal of time to mourn?" he said curiously.

"One of the ladies," Delia replied promptly.

"Alright, that helps, which one?" his voice was mild, but his brow was furrowed.

The two continued to talk long into the night. Discussing and flirting, the two mingled until there was no difference. The candle burned low and they finally stopped to finally sleep.

"Delia, Jon will never know of this," he told her.

"Of course, my love, of course," Delia murmured sleepily, the euphoria around her head was thick.

"Good. I would be upset if something were to go wrong."

* * *

Alanna woke up the next, throat on fire, stomach about to release everything she ever ate. Her muscles ached from having to assist in lifting and pulling were not helping her any. _I least I look better than the last I felt like this._ "Faithful?" her voice soft and muffled by early morning fog.

"_Why are you doing this? I want to sleep!"_ the cat said, his words slurring.

"I don't care. I need to wash up, so guard me."

He sighed angrily. _"Fine. But remember how mad this made me."_

The girl's light chuckle seemed to sound like a shout. "Well, no time like the present." and ambled out the door.

The water was cold, refreshing and numbing; she sighed in complete bliss. Though she was freezing, she loved the feeling: she was wide awake now, and ready to take on the world!

"'_lanna! We have company!"_ Faithful cried from the shore.

Alanna looked around, hearing hoof beats already. _Oh goddess! _"Do I know them?"

"_No!"_

They were getting closer. She could hear the sounds of men talking, joking about the women they might find at the next village. She knew there would be no way for her to run now.

"**I will never run away**" her words echoed in her mind. Now the only thing she could find was her tunic and underwear. _Good enough_, she thought shaking her head.

She threw on her clothes and hid by a large clump of trees. When she peeked around the side, she saw the men split up. _Bad move_, she told herself, finding holes in their 'brilliant' ideas.

When they were gone, she searched for her sword. It seemed like hours before she found it, the men might have already started-

"Alan!"

She whirled to see Dean and Raoul, both looking anxious. "What's wrong?"

"Men snuck on the camp, almost all of them are dead."

"Jordan?" she asked. This was harsh, not even he deserved to die like this.

They shook their heads. "We need you to heal people."

"Gladly," at least when healing she could sit down, give her weak knees a rest after hearing the bleak news. "How many other healers are there?"

"Only you," replied Dean. His voice was cracking, eyes were over bright. "Didn't think we would need them. Stupid!"

"You lost friends?" her voice was gentle, it had to be to handle someone who might explode at any second.

"Yes. Johann, Brandon, Gregory, Jesse... the only one who made it out unharmed was Greg, he's the same size as this guy here," pointing at Raoul.

"Are the others wounded or dead?"

"Brandon's gone. I can't find Johann, and Jesse's out cold."

"I'll do my best," she said and looked at Raoul. "Could you try to find Johann while I heal Jesse?

Raoul nodded. "Dean, if my squire is returned to me beyond repair I will send you to Brandon."

Dean smiled weakly, "I'll make sure nothing happens to him."

As they took different roads, Alanna bombarded Dean with questions. As it turns out, he could do general first aid. "Alright, you going help bandage survivors."

"You say that like it's a privilege," he muttered.

"It is, you're probably not going to get into my way, so long it stays that way, it is a privilege," she said with grim good humour.

"I just thought of something... how come you weren't up yet?" she asked. "How come I didn't hear noise?"

"They had mages." Dean's voice was cold. "We didn't, you're the only living healer left."

"Who else was?"

"Brandon, a couple of men in other squads. Jordan thought we wouldn't need the rest. He thought they would break and run when they saw our shining armour," he spat.

They reached camp and Alanna almost let tears fall down her face. Men of the Own were strewn across the ground, bodies covered in blood, theirs or someone else's, occasionally she would find a man with a limb missing. The enemy were there, but only ten of their bodies lay rotting. When she cast a look at Dean he said, monotonously, "they escaped."

She looked around, trying to get rid the lump in her throat. "Build a pyre, say prayers for our people. Burn the others, but let them get lost on their way to the Black God. We'll have a proper funeral at Corus for the men." she turned for the wounded men.

"Thank you," whispered Dean, knowing the young squire was too far away to hear him. He looked at his friends, and wiped his eyes.

Alanna looked inside the tent to see four men, there was a tall thin man with dark hair, a short man with blonde hair, a tall one with light brown highlights, and a very short man with dark and skin, like a Bazhir. She looked the first man, at the foot of his bed read "Jesse of Port Legan."

" J.P," Dean told her from the doorway. The pointed to the second man, "that's Jake of Upsala, and Joshua of Falcon Bay. And Schuyler of the Bazhir tribe, Sandrunners."

She nodded and said, "I want you to go over each man, find out where he is injured, and write it down. It saves time."

"Okay," he said, for second he opened his mouth again, but shut it when a loud cry tore through the air.

"It came from outside," Dean was saying as he dashed outside.

Praying the man would live to see her, she went to the one who looked worst: Schuyler. "Hey," she called softly, reaching out with her magic. He opened his eyes and the two dropped into a swirling well, a black hole on the other side. "Schuyler, come here, I'm going to help you." knowing there was a good chance he would never come back from the well.

"I'm sorry, but I am too far now, good bye, hero." and fell at an incredible speed downwards.

Pulling herself away from him she turned to Joshua. After examining him, she decided he would live, just a broken arm and a shoulder wound. Jake had died while she examined Joshua. "Jesse please still be alive."

"I am," he groaned. "Too much pain to be dead."

She smiled, he seemed to share Dean's humour. "Do you know if anyone escaped?"

"Greg. And Johann."he slowly opened his eyes. "Aren't you a little be small to be with us?"

"Yes, but I don't care."

He nodded, then winced. "Headache."

"Do you know where the others are?"

"Greg should be with Johann," he answered. "Johann was cut and Greg grabbed him, trying to get him away from the fight. He was going to do this for everyone, but when he got back, almost everyone was dead."

"Who's still alive?"

Alanna turned to the bed that held Joshua. He looked at her confused, why was this child with them again?

"You, Jesse, Dean possibly Johann," Alanna quickly replied.

"Who's looking for Johann?" Joshua asked.

"Me," Raoul interjected from the mouth of the tent. A large man with brown hair, blue eyes and blood smeared across his face and clothes.

"Is he alive?" Alanna asked, beating everyone to the question.

"Yes, still able to walk," Raoul said, pleased. "Are these the only two who made it?"

They all nodded.

"We're not going to attempt to catch the people who did this. Alan, I want you to heal each of them enough that he can ride," Raoul ordered.

"Yessir."

An hour later, they were mounted, riding at a slow, silent pace to the palace. The only ones who weren't able to ride by themselves were Josh, as he preferred to be called, and Jesse, who rode beside Greg and Johann. Alanna took care of Josh, he was the worst off, Raoul at the front, and Dean bringing up the rear.

"I can't believe almost everyone is gone," Josh told her.

"I know, I'm sorry about it all." Alanna felt so bad for him, all his close friends were dead.

"You couldn't stop it. If you could, you would be sung about in legends." he joked, but anyone could tell it was forced.

They talked the entire way back, Alanna was sure if they didn't Josh didn't stay awake, he wouldn't wake up. Thankfully, he wasn't self absorbed, and asked her opinion on a lot of things, even things she never heard about.

The ride ended. When they entered the stables Raoul barked orders to hostlers and calling for pages who happened to be in there at the time. Within minutes they were brought to Duke Baird, who was accompanied by Jessica. Seeing the men, she covered her mouth and took Josh's hand, dragging him to a curtained area; another healer did the same thing with Jesse.

As the healers worked on them, Alanna talked to the Duke. "I don't know why, but there must have been silencing spells all around the area, because I couldn't hear a thing."

"Possible."

Jessica walked around the corner, pale, with beads of sweat covering her face. "It was worse than I thought," she said, "he has a head wound, a bad one. I can't get him to wake."

Alanna started to fall apart. This couldn't happen! At least five men of the Own would live, no matter what. "Jessica, come with me, you're about to learn something new." Alanna commanded.

Jessica nodded and followed the red-head. "What are you going to do?"

"Practical cures." she replied shortly. "I need a bucket of water, any temperature I don't care which. And you might want to get him a fresh bed pan as well."

"She nodded and called out names, within minutes a healer had everything Alanna had asked for. "If this doesn't wake him, I'll let you try some magic," she instructed.

Swiftly, she pushed his hand into the water, and waited. Suddenly he awoke, angry. He glared the squire and gasped, "What was that for?"

"Had to wake you up," Alanna replied cheerfully.

Still glowering, he asked Jessica, "if J.P. alright?"

"Sleeping, in a safe way, unlike yourself."

"Thanks." then fell into his pillow with a snore.

Alanna sighed with relief, and touched the ember stone at her throat. Traces of orange magic were vanishing from Josh's body at an alarming rate. _What was going on!_ She thought frantically. He still slept peacefully, unaware of the fact that he just lost the essence of a certain mage. Deciding to talk to Faithful tonight, she left the healer's office.

She spotted Raoul along the way. "Raoul!"

He frowned when he turned, but it was quickly changed to a look of confusion, "what's wrong?"

"I just saw something strange," she said, breathless. _Since when do I get this?_ She hadn't even run, and this wasn't the sort of anticipation

"Like what?"

"Like orange magic 'fleeing' Josh's body."

"Drop it," he said.

"Drop what?" she was shocked and infuriated that he would just dismiss her like this.

"I know you don't like Roger, but now your accusing him attempting kill people. Don't do this, even if he did he has more connections. You wouldn't stand a chance against him, even with a sword in one hand, and a ball of magic in the other."

She glared at him. Then without a word, stomped off to her room and shut the door with a loud slam.

She sat on her bed, stroking her cat, telling him of her suspicions.

"_Give it time, he will show what he's like."_

"I know, it's just that there is no way for me to stop him. He put spells on the men to prevent them from fighting or even screaming!"

"_Not being able to fight people is bad, not being able to fight your own mind is worse,"_ he said wisely.

She looked at him. "What are you implying by that?""

"_Nothing that you don't already know of."_

"Faithful, this isn't funny. I don't know what you're talking about, and even if I did know, you're probably wrong." she said, unwilling to admit that he _was_ right.

"_Listen, you can accept this and be happy, or you can deny it, and have troubled sleeps." _he said this like she had a choice.

"No, I don't care. Nothing is going on in my mind, or whatever is behind this," Alanna said, trying to get herself to believe it.

Faithful rolled his eyes. He knew she would be this obstinate, but soon enough she'll realise just what's going on.

Alanna fell asleep slowly, still thinking of the men who had died because she wasn't careful enough. Deep in her mind lay the threat of Roger; the sooner she figured him out, the sooner she could rest.

* * *

**A/N: **thank you for reading another chapter,please continue to review. i would really like to thank epoppb, you've reviewed all the time, and i want to give you as real a thanks as you can get on the internet. 


	10. Ball

**Ball**

**Disclaimer:** **i swear to whatever deity is listening, i do not own anything that is copyrighted by Tamora Pierce!**

* * *

A few weeks later, Alanna was thoroughly enjoying Douglass fuss with his hair; he just asked Jessica to the Midwinter ball. Raoul was taking Isabelle, and Alanna was going with Morgan as a joke, seeing as how Morgan knew her secret they thought it would be funny.

"Alan! What's wrong with me?" Douglass complained.

"I don't know. Maybe you're just not meant to look good," she replied, her voice rang with amusement.

Douglass sneered at her, and a knock sounded on her door. What she saw surprised her; Jon was standing in the doorway with Delia, and Gary was there holding Cythera. Alanna smiled at the couples, but her smile was for Jonathan. She would never flash a fake smile at Delia, not even if her life depended on it.

"So, Alan, I hear you are courting lady Morgan of Naxen, is it true?" Delia asked, once again trying to make everything her business.

_Where is she getting this?_ Alanna thought wearily. Her dislike for Delia won and showed when she said, "no. I never was, I probably never will."

Gary smiled, knowing if his small friend's dislike for women who put themselves forward so much as to be considered a trollop by women and a beloved creature by men. He shook his head and thought of the way he actually wanted to go to this ball; he had even asked out a girl, Gary's sister, but it is still a start.

"And why not? Surely you agree she is rather good looking," batting her eyelashes as she said it.

Alanna looked at Morgan. "Of course I believe she is beautiful. I also admire her for attracting so many people without having to use intimacy as a lure."

Morgan laughed, so did Isabelle and Raoul. Jessica, Douglass, Gary and Cythera could hardly contain their grins; even Jon seemed to want to smile, but he kept his face stern and said, "Alan, that is no way to treat a lady. I must insist that you apologize."

Alanna choked. She would say, but she had to be sure her indifference and amusement made her stutter. "My lady Delia," a snort of laughter, " I must apologize, my comment was," another giggle, "unfair. I will take it back."

Delia was red, even though she had face powder caked on. Shrilly, she went on, "I have never been more insulted! I do not accept the vague apology you have made. My lord prince, if you will excuse us?"

Jon sighed, "yes, Delia." but the look he gave his friends that told them that he would be back sooner than anticipated.

Gary rose to his feet with a groan. "We should really be going too."

The others stood as well, protesting. Jessica was laughing like a murderer. "That was wonderful! Did you see her?" sadly, her hysterical laughter followed them all the way to the banquet hall.

Alanna and Morgan bade their friends good luck on the staircase, and hoped none of them fell to their death. This was a very important "get together"; ambassadors from Tusiane were coming, therefore the squires were not forced to serve. A herald came forward to tell them of the order in which things were to proceed according to. Mercifully, Alanna and Morgan were neither first nor last, they were the middle. Alanna could tell her friend was nervous, she was just like her brother, the joker, and wasn't well known around court.

Alanna just didn't like to be up in front of people, and Morgan was pretty enough to make men jealous of Alanna. Her brown eyes highlighted with black eyeliner, pale brown eye shadow on her eyelids made her look much older. The naturally curly hair was left in a neat style of loose ringlets around her, coming down to her shoulder blades, small pieces of odd pinks shades were in her hair from an experiment gone wrong on Jessica's part; she was trying to dye Morgan's hair a bright red, but ended up with bright pink. Her dress was a work of art. Long red silk skirts, with a red corset and black lining. It had thin straps to hold it up, it had a modest neckline, low enough to attract attention, but not low enough to be considered slutty. It was completed with black gloves that came to her elbows.

Jessica and Douglass were descending the stairs, and she heard the gasps of people at Jessica's dress. Hers was a black gown, with bright pink on the bodice. Her wasn't a corset, but it still had a small bow in the back, pulling the dress tight enough to show her figure off. Jessica's black hair was in a simple braid, her had small bits of blue mixed in it, but these were clip ons. She looked so casual and elegant at the same time.

Isabelle stood close to Raoul, taking deep breaths attempting to calm her nerves. She had her hair in a loose bun, with small locks falling into her face and around her neck. Her dress was a soft blue, with ribbons attached to her arms giving her an angelic look. Instead of wearing high heels like most noblewomen wore, she had flats on, she didn't need the extra height. She had a lot of blue make-up, but she didn't over-do it like Delia did.

"Squire Alan of Trebond and Lady Morgan of Naxen," the herald called.

Morgan raised her head, and started a calm walk towards the stair. Alanna followed, more nervous than the lady, or so she thought. The second Morgan looked down the stairs, her breath caught in her chest and she went pale, her grip tightened mercilessly on Alanna's arm, until she was bruised. Her eyes rolled into her head and she collapsed, nearly falling down the stairs.

"Help!" cried Alanna. Raoul and Isabelle rushed forwards, trying to help the fallen Naxen.

Long moments passed before Morgan opened her eyes. When she finally did, she turned red, looked down, tears in her eyes.

"I can't believe it. I worked so hard to stop myself from doing that," her voice was choked with humiliation.

"It's alright," said Alanna, trying to soothe the poor girl.

"No, it's not!" Morgan snapped. "If it was alright, I wouldn't be acting like this! Do you expect me just to laugh it off and say, 'yeah, I fainted on my way down the stairs'?"

Taken aback, Alanna answered carefully, "no, I just thought you wouldn't be so upset about it."

"How couldn't I be upset about this? I disgraced my family, they will never be proud of their only daughter!" With that, she turned and strode down the stairs quickly, not holding onto Alanna, and walking towards the doors.

"My lady!" called Alanna. "My lady, wait! Please!"

Morgan looked back quickly and she started to run. But while she looked back a man stepped in front of her, causing her to fall to the ground with an agitated yell. Many curses followed as Alanna ran towards her friend.

"Sorry, Sacherell," Alanna murmured.

The other squire grinned. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

"What is wrong with you people?" shouted Morgan from the ground.

"Nothing, we're just not the best with this kind of court function," Alanna joked.

If looks could kill, Alanna would have turned to dust. But Gary walked over and grabbed his sister's arm, pulling her to her feet. "It's alright, did I tell you about the time..." and walked away, telling stories of people at court who screwed up in one way or another.

Shaking her head she came face to face with Raoul. He leaned over and whispered, "I need to talk to you."

She nodded to her tall friend and followed him outside. When she glanced around the room, she grinned in spite of herself. Jessica was dancing with Douglass, a little closer than the dance required. Isabelle was flirting with the Tusaine knights, one in particular was drawing closer to the tall lady. Morgan was still in her brothers company, still letting her get rid of the embarrassment that she had felt just minutes ago.

They were going towards Alanna's room. She frowned slightly; they should have just stayed in the garden, where Jon could see them and not think that they were trying to skip out on the ball. Yet they continued, at rather a brisk pace as well. When they got there, Alanna and let her eyes wander around the room in search of Faithful; she couldn't explain why, but right now she felt like she might want him here.

"Alanna, there's a reason I wanted to see you privately," Raoul said quietly.

Alanna eyed him curiously. "What is it?"

A few moments passed before he could make himself say anything. "I- um- it's just that-" he finally got himself under control. "I think you are an amazing woman, so full ideals and dreams. And your looks are extraordinary."

Where was he going with this?

Before Alanna could utter a word, his lips were on hers with a searing heat that almost destroyed her mind. For what seemed like the longest moment she stood there, never thinking, never wanting to say no. She gently reached up and touched his face, and the feeling she was getting from this was explosive. Alanna trembled, and finally returned to her own mind. She backed away, suddenly ashamed of what she had just done. "Raoul, I can't. I want my shield."

"I know, but you didn't seem to protest for a while either, though," Raoul pointed out. He didn't sound confident right now, or all that sure of what was going on now that he had kissed his squire.

"That isn't the point!" she said, feeling small and guilty. She had never felt as good as she did when Raoul was holding her. She was confused. A part of her wanted to hide, and never show her face again, but the other part wanted to be back in his grip, so close that she could fal and she wouldn't move an inch; unfortunately, this was the lager side.

Raoul looked at her, his black eyes searched hers. His shoulders fell, and he looked so dejected Alanna feel worse. Alanna had to say something, now. "We're back to this?"

He nodded, and was pale. "I'm sorry."

"I am too," she replied. "I shouldn't have done anything, I'm just as responsible."

"Did you kiss me? Or was it the other way around?" he asked sarcastically. When Alanna stayed silent he went on, "exactly. I don't know why I did this! I don't why I liked! I don't know why I want to do it again!" realizing he'd said too much he too fell quiet.

Alanna sat on her bed, head in her hands. She'd heard what he said, she needed to put a stop to this. "There will be no 'next time'. I'm sorry, but if you do this again I will remove myself from your service." she knew her words had hurt him, but they needed to be said.

"I know... please, just give me another chance," his voice was pleading."we can visit George."

Alanna smiled. "Alright, but we're taking Gary and Morgan."

He nodded and asked, "why both of them?"

"Because I don't want to have to carry you home, and I think Morgan and George will get along very well."

* * *

A/N: it took a while to write these, but they're not too bad... just write if you disagree or agree, or whatever you think, come on, you know you wannnna (there is supposed to be a music note here) 


	11. Downwards

**Downwards**

**Disclaimer: i still don't own any characters from a Tamora Pierce book.**

**A/N: **be warned, this chapter is dark, and this chapter is rated "T" for a reason.

thanks again to all who reviewed, you are all greatly appreciated.

* * *

Alanna saddled Moonlight and her knight-masters mare, Devious, while she waited for Raoul, Morgan and Gary to arrive. Knowing everyone else's horses, she decided to kill some time by saddling them as well. Finally, the three arrived.

"Alright, let's go," said Morgan, looking like a different person. She had taken off all the make up she had on earlier and mussed her hair. She had riding clothes on, obviously stolen from the pages selection. Right now, she looked nothing like a noble.

Alanna smiled as a reply and leapt on Moonlight and trotted off to the city, talking to Morgan, yet never bringing up the subject of the Goldenlake knight. Perhaps Morgan noticed as well, she too stayed far away from that topic. Finally the two decided to race, bringing them far ahead of the others. Once far enough away Morgan asked, "what's going on with you and Raoul?"

Alanna gaped. Was there nothing she could keep from this girl? "There's nothing going on."

"Yes there is. I see it on your face like giant bruise," she told the squire. "Besides, you can trust me. You haven't been caught yet, have you?"

"No, I haven't, but..." Alanna sighed. "I just don't want to talk about that."

"Are you sure?" she prodded. "I might be able to help."

"Really?" Alanna was losing her patience. It wasn't fair how this was happening now! "Fine, then tell me, what would you do if you were training to become a knight, and one of your oldest friends chose you as a squire?"

"Rejoice."

"Then, you find out that they are attracted to you. They proved this twice," Alanna went on, slightly vicious.

"Twice?" Morgan was stupefied. "How?"

"Once when he was drunk, another just an hour ago," she said, her voice becoming smaller and smaller.

"I never knew Raoul was like that," the female Naxen commented.

"I didn't either," was Alanna's soft reply."it's just that..."

"Just that?"

"I liked it. I encouraged it, I... I kissed him back," she said, her voice full of remorse. It felt even worse to tell someone than it did to keep it inside.

Alanna felt a small hand pat her on the shoulder. "Maybe you should tell Gary."

"What?" Alanna nearly shouted.

"Yes! It will help!" Morgan said in an effort to keep her friend quiet.

"How? Telling another person I'm a girl to help me with something like _this?_ I don't think so."

"Well why not?"

"Because," Alanna explained, "the more people who know, the more of a risk I take while I'm here."

"You have to!"

"No I don't!" Alanna continued to deny this.

"Tell him and let Raoul vent his problem! Because if you don't tell Gary, this is going to keep happening!"

Alanna glared. "Fine," she turned Moonlight and trotted off towards Gary, grim determination in her vivid eyes. Raoul knew that look and stayed well away from her; he had the idea to talk to Morgan and ignore whatever Alanna said.

"Gary!" called Alanna, her voice echoing in the dark air. He rode towards and she made sure that they were far enough away from Morgan and Raoul before finally saying, "does it ever seem like there's something to me? Like, I've been hiding something from everyone?"

"Well, yes, I knew you weren't everything you said you were, but I never found out what it is," he said, looking at her oddly.

Alanna licked her lips and forced the words out of her mouth, "I'm not a boy. I'm a girl."

Gary stopped abruptly. "That's not funny."

"I didn't mean for it to be a joke."

He looked at her, still trying to piece everything together. A few minutes later, he smiled and asked, "why'd you tell me?"

"Your sister told me to."

"_Morgan_ knew?" he seemed so startled it was funny.

"She figured it out the second she saw me," Alanna replied with a smile.

"So, why do you think she told you to tell me?" he inquired.

"Ask her."

* * *

They reached the Dancing Dove and Alanna let Raoul take the horses around back. She led Morgan into the bustling inn, found Solom and climbed the stairs to George's room. Alanna looked around, to see if George had anything new. Sadly he didn't, but Morgan was intrigued by all of the Rogues possessions, and asked numerous times about where he got them.

"Alan!" a tall man said from the doorway.

"George!" she ran and hugged him. "It's ok, you can call me Alanna. She knows."

"How did she know? You took so much care," he said.

"I'm not sure, ask her," Alanna said wickedly. She watched the two converse and the other girl left them alone.

Going down the stairs she knew she made a mistake. She could hear Raoul yell drunkenly, "what are you talking about? I love her!" and the sound of a table overturning.

"Raoul!" she screamed when she saw he was about to punch one of the thieves.

Raoul's eyes were clouded with the effect of the liquor. He staggered. "What's wrong?" his speech was slurred, and Alanna knew she had to leave early again.

She once again searched for Gary, only to see him walking towards her. "How did he get like this?"

Gary looked at his friend and said angrily, "he got in and ordered a whole bottle of vodka to himself!"

Alanna wanted to smash Raoul's head in. "Raoul! Come here now!" more softly she said to Gary, "get Morgan. Now."

He nodded and walked away as Raoul attempted to walk over. Alanna strode over, grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the Dove. Taking him around back she hissed, "what are you doing? Do you like getting into fights? What are you trying to do?"

Raoul leaned over and tried to kiss her. She dodged and moved away saying, "stop it!" repetitively. But he followed and grabbed her arm with a force no one would be able to break. He pulled her into him and started to kiss her, bruising her lips. She couldn't scream from the onslaught. _Where are Gary and Morgan?_ Alanna thought desperately, praying they would get here in time to stop this. Alanna suddenly felt her feet being lifted from the ground, and was being carried into the stable. She fought hard, but Raoul was so drunk and so large, it was a waste of energy.

"Why do we have to go? It's still early," said Morgan's voice.

"We've been having a problem with someone, and it occurred again," Gary explained.

Raoul hasn't stopped. He climbed the ladder to the hay loft and tossed her onto it. She tried to turn and run, but he caught her and held her below his heavy body. Alanna whimpered. "Please stop, please," she pleaded. He paid no attention to her begging and tried to get rid of her shirt.

"Alanna."

Raoul stopped and looked down to see another large man. The same man said, "Raoul, do you know where Alanna is?"

Alanna whimpered again, but Raoul had placed his hand over her mouth.

There was a loud crash and Raoul and Alanna toppled out of the hayloft, Alanna was nearly in tears. She looked down at Raoul, who was now lying unconscious on the ground. When she looked up to see who had saved her she saw the Rogue, beside his was Morgan, looking extremely frightened.

"Come on," Morgan whispered. "Let's go."

The tow rode hard back up to the palace. Not stopping until their horses were with Stefan and his workers, and then they still ran until they reached Alanna's room, with the doors safely locked. Only then did Alanna cry.

"I know he was drunk, but- but-" she collapsed into helpless sobs again.

"Shh, your ok," Morgan cooed, she said this but inside she was burning with withheld rage.

There was a light knock on the door and Morgan was the one to answer it; when she saw who it was she almost slammed it in their face. Raoul stood there, looking horrible. "Where's Alanna?"

Morgan's eyes turned to stone. "I'm not telling you. If it weren't for the alcohol in you I would bring you up before the Moon of Truth Temple myself."

He sighed and rubbed his temples, in no mood to argue with her. "Just let me see her."

"So you can attack her again?" she snapped. A small sob was heard in the other room. Raoul's eyes snapped forward, and he took a step but got a fist in the face for his effort.

"What are you doing?" he howled.

"You're not seeing her," Morgan spat.

Raoul snapped. He shoved her out of the way and walked towards he cry. He opened the door and wished he hadn't. Alanna sat on her bed, holing her pillow, looking up at him in fear.

"Don't touch me," she warned quickly. In complete disregard he walked over to her.

Alanna reacted instantly. She lunged off her bed, and grabbed her unsheathed sword. She pointed it towards his chest. Quietly she said, "take one more step, I swear by Mithros and the Goddess I will kill you."

Raoul looked at her in a resigned way. "I'm sorry."

She looked at him, her gaze icy. "That's all you can say? Really?"

"I can' think of any words to explain why I did it."

Alanna shook her head. "Raoul, I can't do this. I told you, if you had this kind of problem I said I would leave your service."

His face paled. "Please, just give me another chance."

"I can't." she could feel the tears forcing their way into her eyes. "Quit drinking, once you pull yourself together, ask me again."

Although he knew it was his cue to leave, he remain in his place and begged, "please Alanna I am truly sorry for this. I will stop drinking, I swear."

"No." normally she would have, but not now, not since he did this.

He knew she wouldn't change her answer. So instead of either punching a wall or yelling at her he said tightly, "pack you things then."

Alanna held her head up proudly. "I will. Maybe Douglass would like to switch masters," she said, and sword never leaving Raoul's chest, she guided him out the door, slamming it in his wake.

Morgan, forgotten until then asked, "are you sure about this?"

Alanna choked. Her throat too tight to say a word.

Morgan sighed, "I'll go talk to Gary about this."

"Thank you," Alanna croaked. "Morgan, I just need to get away from all this."

Morgan nodded in understanding and left Alanna alone.

_"Are you going to be yourself any time soon?"_ Faithful asked.

"I don't know. All i know is that I can't stay with him as a master, not with the way he drinks."

_"Maybe he'll stop. then what are you going to do?"_

"Let him start fresh." _this is if he ever stops._

_"You're doing really well. don't let this get in your way."_

"You're right. I'm going to sleep, i'm the morning we move."

* * *

like i said, Teen for a reason. things will get better, i promise! i'm sorry, but this has to happen. please continue to review. 


	12. Shock

**Shock**

**Disclaimer: i do not own any of the characters found in Tamora Pierce's books.**

**A/N: sorry it's been a while, but I'm still alive.Merry Christmas, HappyHanukkah, and everything else to everyone else! sorry, i don't thgink it's a great chapter, but tell me what you think. I haven't forgotten the Tusaine War either.Just wait for it.

* * *

**

The next day Alanna went to see Gary, to see if she and Douglass could switch masters. By the next week she was in service to the Naxen knight, and though it wasn't as exciting as with Raoul, it was satisfactory.

Alanna told gary of why she left Raoul, and he managed to get his friend to stop drinking. Often the two visited Raoul, and saw no more traces of an alcoholic. Though Alanna was proud of Raoul, she never wanted to be alone with him. It was just as well; Raoul had started to court lady Isabelle.

An uneventful year later, Alanna was walking through the palace with Gary when news came from Stefan: George wanted them to come down to the city for something.

They were going at a brisk pace to the Dancing Dove, when Gary asked the question that was going through Alanna's mind, "what do you think he wants? Normally he tells why he wants us to come."

Alanna couldn't think of a reply.

LINE

the Dove was almost empty when the knight and squire got there. Normally people were celebrating because of George's love affair with Morgan, but now everyone was gone. "In search of money I'll bet," guessed Gary as they stabled the horses.

They went their separate ways, Gary to play some dice, and Alanna to see George. She gently walked up the stairs towards Georges bedroom, and hear muffled voices.

"What if he doesn't approve?" the female voice inquired.

"I think he will," George's voice was clearer, but it didn't sound confident.

Alanna was dying to know who was talking in there. She knocked three times, hard.

"Yes?" answered George.

Alanna walked in to see Morgan standing next to George, his arm around the Naxen lady's waist. The girl squire smiled at them.

"Well, at least we know she approves and she doesn't even know what's going on," said George dryly, "I'm sure your brother won't be any different."

"I don't know," replied Morgan uncertainly. "He can be pretty protective and Alanna isn't a blood relative and she isn't the one about to be-" she stopped abruptly.

Curiosity sparked in Alanna's mind. "To be?"

George smiled. "Engaged."

Alanna's jaw dropped, her eyes went wide and she almost started to bounce with excitement. "Are you serious?"

Morgan smiled weakly. "Yes, do you think he will approve?"

She didn't know who "He" was, but she assumed it was her father because Gary would be happy his sister was in love, and with George. But Duke Gareth. He was related to King and Queen! There was little chance that he would approve of such a romance. His daughter, a Naxen who's aunt is the Queen, married to the King of Thieves.

"I don't know," Alanna told her. "I mean, you're related to royalty, and well, no offence George-" he nodded solemnly-" he's not on the right of the law, per say, and what will become of you? You will lose all credibility. You will have to tell how you met George, giving away myself, Gary, Raoul, Jonathan, Isabelle, Jessica and Douglass. The only one's who won't be punished are you, Jon and Gary!"

Morgan's shoulders slumped. "I know. But I want this so badly. More than anything else in the world."

A knock on the door stopped all conversation. "Hello?" called Gary.

"Come in." it was George who replied this time.

"So, what's wrong?" Gary looked in a better peace of mind right now. His pockets were jingling meaning he had been gambling.

His sister took deep breaths. "Gary, I am about to be-" she swallowed hard-" engaged."

Gary brightened even more. "To whom?"

Morgan took another deep breath and said, "George."

For a second Gary looked stunned. "This George? The King of Thieves? The Rogue?"

"Yes."

Gary rubbed the back of his head. "Does Father know?"

"No." she said quietly. "I wanted to know what you think first."

"I think it's a wonderful idea, but you'll have to say how you've met him and you'll give away-"

"I know, our dear Alanna told me," she demurred, looking at Alanna (who was forgotten until this very moment).

Gary sighed, "ask Father, but whatever you do, do not tell him how you met. Make up a lie and tell everyone else involved in this. If you don't, the consequences could be fatal for the ones who brought you together."

With Morgan's final nod, Alanna and Gary rode back to the palace.

LINE!

The ember stone at Alanna's throat started to grow hot as she neared the palace. Men in black robes sent chills down her spine, and she knew they were priests of the Black God. Who had died?

A loud howl of sorrow split the air and made Alanna tense. The cry got louder and louder until she could finally realise that the person was yelling "No!" repetitively.

Alanna felt sick. She knew who was crying. Without warning to Gary, she kicked her horse into a gallop. "Alan!" Gary shouted, using her alias because men of the Palace Guard were standing close to the pair.

Alanna went deaf to everything but the cries. When she reached the stables she whistled and Stefan dropped down from the hayloft. "What's wrong with th' young master?"

"Why are there priests of the Black God here?" Alanna demanded.

The hostler's face fell. "A lady from the convent killed 'erself."

Alanna blanched. "Which one?" praying it wasn't Jessica, she was going to marry Douglass when he passed his Ordeal. It can't be Morgan, and none of the other ladies gave any impression of depression.

"Th' lady that courts sir Raoul."

The squire's hand ran through her copper hair. "I need to see the body!" she said, a thought striking her.

He looked at her strangely, but led her to the room where Isabelle's body was laying. Alanna gripped the ember stone when she saw a giant kneeling by his lover. His face was tear-stained and his whole body shook with the effort to keep himself from screaming. Alanna looked at the body, and only saw the barest hints of magic on her. One was the colour of Duke Baird's healing and one was orange.

"Alan?" Raoul beckoned for her to come closer.

"Oh Goddess, Raoul, I'm so sorry," she said sympathetically.

"I loved her, why would she do this? She was so happy earlier," he sobbed.

"I don't think she killed herself," Alanna told him, knowing he wouldn't believe her.

"They found her hanging in her room, a note on her bed. Now do you think she killed herself?" he asked.

Alanna looked at Isabelle. A red ring around her neck showed the marks of a coarse rope. "Maybe she was spelled."

"Who? Who would kill her?" he growled.

"Someone who wants to hurt you, or someone close to you."

He glanced at her. "I have no enemies who aren't dead or sorcerers."

"Nor does Gary. But Jon has a cousin who is a great sorcerer. I know he doesn't like me," she said.

"Would you stop with that! Roger doesn't want to kill you or Jonathan!"

Alanna started to lose her temper. Even though Raoul was in mourning that didn't give the right to yell at her like that! "Then tell me this, who's in line for the throne if our Prince dies?" she turned and took two steps before Raoul's hand clamped down on her arm.

"Maybe Roger would inherit everything, but he wouldn't kill Jon for it," he argued.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Why are you so mistrustful of him to begin with?"

"Because I know he is behind everything, Isabelle's death, the massacre of the King's Own, the Sweating Sickness, the list goes on and on," she explained in a hushed voice, her teeth clenched. She glared at him, refusing to back down.

"Excuse me?" a priest interrupted. "But how are either of you in any way related to the dead?"

Raoul answered first. "I am Sir Raoul of Goldenlake, and I was courting lady Isabelle."

"I am Sir Raoul's squire," replied Alanna automatically.

The priest looked from one to the other. "Surely you know that her soul cannot rest"

"Why not?" snapped Raoul.

"She has committed a horrible act, the act of suicide, and she will never be able to sleep eternally."

"That's unbelievable!" Alanna cried. How dare he say this about Isabelle? She was normally perky, always wanting to make people laugh. She deserved a good death.

The priest looked at them in disgust. "I know you are saddened by this, but you must have some self-control."

Alanna couldn't stop herself; the words were out of her mouth before she even knew it. "Has being a priest of the Black God deadened you so much that you have no more emotion? Only fake respect for the dead?"

The man drew himself up, indignant at this child and his questions. "I will not answer you."

Alanna was about to ask more, but Raoul brought a hand over her mouth and said, "I apologize for my squire's tongue, I have been trying to get him to control it, and it is starting to work."

"Starting to work? My dear man, surely you cannot see that this young boy can no more control his tongue than anything else around him!"

"I said I was sorry," Raoul replied steadily. "Now I must be going."

The priest nodded curtly.

Raoul didn't remove his hand until they were far away from the chapel. "What are you thinking? You can't challenge a priest the way you did!"

Alanna raised a red eyebrow. "I think I proved that he is a selfish"- Raoul coughed so no one would hear the insult- "and only cares for the money he gets from his job."

"Alanna, enough."

"No. I was friends with Isabelle to and he was not being fair to her."

Raoul winced. "I know he wasn't. But you didn't have to get into a fight like that."

"Maybe I didn't. But it made me feel better."

Raoul cracked a small smile. "Well, at least that's taken care of."

They stood in silence for a few long moments before Alanna asked, "I feel bad about leaving you right now."

"Really?" he didn't believe her.

"Yes. I want to go back to your service." where did that come from? Yes, she wanted excitement, but she wasn't sure she was ready to go back to Raoul.

"It all depends on Douglass. But to perfectly honest, I preferred you being my squire," he said absent-mindedly.

"Why? I was defiant, I have no self- control, I am friends with the King of Thieves," she said, and was about to continue but Raoul held up a silencing hand.

Raoul grinned. "You have connections, and it was always fun and more exciting when you were my squire, you would fight back, Douglass just takes it."

"Humph."

"And besides," Raoul went on, "I loved having you around. You're the reason I even met Isabelle. You're the reason I felt so wonderful."

"Oh," _Goddess I sound so stupid!_ _what else could I say? Thank you, I still really like you, and I was jealous when I heard about you and Isabelle? No!_ _I never felt anything like that! _

"_Then why did you even bring it up?" _wondered the Faithful-like part of her mind.

"Yeah, the day you left me, I stopped drinking."

"Sorry if I sound rude, but that's the best thing you ever did," she assured him.

"I know it is," he replied. "I know it seems like such a short time that you served Gary, but I would really appreciate it if you came back."

"You speak like a lover who just lost the woman of his dreams," she told him, she could feel the relief that he wanted her back in every vein.

"I did."

_Crap. _There went the relief.

"Sorry."

"You've said that before," Raoul pointed out dryly.

"I know, but I feel bad about bringing it up," she said quietly.

"You shouldn't," he replied. "I loved her, but I know she is now one of the better things."

Alanna smiled at him. This was a good start, she could tell. I'm sorry to bring this up again, but do you believe me about Roger?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen enough evidence to condemn a man so powerful," he said thoughtfully.

It really was a good start.

* * *

**A/N: a little sad? please review.**


	13. Funeral

**Funeral**

**Disclaimer: I think tha tyou are all smart enough to realize what few charactersI own...I don't own the time, place, or any ofthe people you may recognize from any Tamora Pierce novels.**

**A/N: W**ar! Not this chapter, but it's coming soon!

* * *

"Hey," Alanna called, gazing sadly at Raoul.

"Hmm?" the large knight looked up, seeing his squire's face his heart broke even more. He knew Alanna was sad because she had never seen him like this: completely and utterly broken. He hadn't been the same since Isabelle's death.

"Are you going to be alright?" asked Alanna softly.

"I will. I just need some time, maybe we'll leave court for a little while."

"We can't, we have to welcome the Tusaine's again," she said, her voice bitter. The realm of Tortall knew the state of the relationship between their neighbour to the east, and it looked like a few of their nobles wouldn't be happy until they had the entire right bank of the Drell River. "Maybe this time they won't be so insulting and an embarrassment to their own country!"

Raoul's voice was dry when he replied, "if they weren't rude and such, then they wouldn't be Tusaines."

Despite the fact that a friend has died, Alanna smiled, the first real smile in over a week; she started to glow slightly, a natural glow, nothing violet. Even her violet eyes lessened in their grief; but she turned somber quickly. "Come on, we have to get to the Chapel."

When Raoul nodded they started to short trek to the Sun Chapel. They didn't see many people, and the few they did see were wearing dark colours, or the colours of soft, bland lilacs. Alanna was wearing a regular uniform of Goldenlake colours, but she wore a black shirt instead of a white one and black breeches. Her hair was growing, it was now shoulder length, so she tied it back with a black hair tie.

Isabelle's lover was wearing nothing but black, but it suited him. He seemed more serious than anyone had ever seen him, and his black hair was gleaming in the little sunlight that showed. Alanna sighed. Raoul was not like this, even after his ordeal.

Alanna was walking when she felt something by her foot. She looked down to see a large brown- black snake gliding down the stone path, brushing against her legs, revealing sharp fangs and diving towards Raoul's ankle. "Raoul!" she screamed.

Raoul whirled around and cried in pain. The snake had bit him!

Later Alanna would remember yelling in fury, throwing a ball of violet fire at the snake, gasping when it merely threw off her attack and fleeing into the bramble by the rest of the castle. "Oh, Goddess!" what if the snake was venomous?

Alanna knelt, examining the wound and grasping the ember stone to see if there was any poison. What she saw relatively shocked her. Orange flames around the bite. She couldn't focus on that though, there was a fast acting poison flowing through Raoul's veins. She reached inside herself, and poured healing magic into him, trying to find and destroy the venom. She cloth rustle by her ear, but she didn't pay it anymore attention than that.

Soon she felt another Gift, and another. Alanna grabbed her necklace, an emerald green magic was now destroying every single bacteria it found. Another blue shade was healing the wound itself.

A sharp sting ripped her concentration away from Raoul. She looked down to see the same snake, sinking his fangs into her arm, drawing blood. Before she ever thought about what she was doing she reached down, grabbed the snake, creating a fire in her hand and hurled it into a wall. It fell into plants and no one saw it.

"Alan! What are thinking? You're insane!" Jessica's voice shrieked. "Uncle! Another bite!"

Duke Baird was beside Alanna before Jessica had even finished her sentence. Hers was easier than Raoul's. she was more compact and easier to heal.

"Can you stand?" asked Baird.

With a little difficulty Alanna stood, leaning on Jessica for support. "How's Raoul?"

"You did a good job on him," Baird assured her. "I didn't have much left do."

Though she was relieved, Alanna still persisted with questions, "is he awake?"

"He's getting up with a bit of help right now."

Alanna turned, seeing Gary help his friend to his feet. Jonathan was walking towards them, too fast for Delia to keep up. Even Alex was walking towards them. _Probably seeing is Roger had done a good enough job_, Alanna thought viciously.

"Jessica?" Alanna said, turning towards her small friend. The lady's blue eyes looked up at her. "Could you help me to Raoul?"

"Gladly, squire," Jessica replied.

By now a group had gathered around the knight of Goldenlake. Douglass was waiting for his future wife when they reached the circle. Before he took Jessica inside he told Alanna, "he'll be fine, just help into the church and let him rest!" his voice was tight with anxiety.

The girl squire nodded and shoved her way through the mob. "Raoul, let's go."

He put his hand on her shoulder and helped push her out of the crowd and into the Chapel.

The difference between now and when squires were to become knights was incredible. Instead of objects that promised better times ahead, anything to be a good omen, there were death objects, olive branches, and black alters.

Alanna choked. It was horrible, not only the fact that a friend was dead, but it was just horrible to be cooped up, when all Isabelle had wanted was to be free. In a way, she get her wish.

The priest who Alanna had enraged stood at the front of the room and began the prayers, to the Black God, the Great Mother Goddess, and Mithros. Alanna let her mind wander, but all she could think of was Roger. And why he was trying kill Raoul.

_You know, he is your knight master, and nothing happened to him while Douglass was his squire,_ a voice that sounded like Faithful said to her. _And remember the incident at Lake Naxen?_ How could she forget?

It was Alanna's third month of being in service to Gary, and they decided to go see his mother at Naxen. Everything was fine until the second week they were there. The two went out riding, and were stopping by the lake to let the horses drink. They were leaning against a tree, gary was sleeping lightly, while Alanna stroked the violet- eyed cat, Faithful.

All the peace was shattered with the sound of thundering hooves. Alanna thought it was just the Guard. Terrible mistake.

"_Wake up!" _Faithful snapped.

"Why? There's nothing happening," she argued.

"_You mean a group of men, who aren't from Naxen aren't unusual?"_

Alanna's eyes flew open as she saw a group of ten horsemen (possibly from Scanra to the north) descending on them at top speed. She quickly shook Gary into full wakefulness, grabbing their weapons, her Lightning and Gary's halberd.

As she collect the weapons, her master rushed to get their horses away from the fighting. "Give me Moonlight!" Alanna shouted. She needed her horse, who was trained as a warhorse, because she didn't have Gary's size or the length of his weapon.

The men were closing in; starting to circle the pair. One man jumped to attack, and was almost speared by Alanna's sword.

"Think the kid can use a sword?" mocked one of the men. "I'm surprised he can even lift it! You might as well go back to convent!"

"What do you want?" cried Gary. "I am sir Gareth of Naxen, what right do you have insulting myself and my squire?" he used old phrases, furthering any authority he had.

"_Squire?"_ one of the said his voice cracking. This one was the largest, about the size of Raoul, he was holding a heavy broadsword in one hand and war hammer in his belt. "Let's see if he's really that good." he darted in, sword raised, and forced Gary to the side as he locked swords with Alanna. She blocked and attacked, and had to admit he was good. She had just finished a slash towards his middle when she saw an opening. She thrust her swords toards the small gap in armour and cut towards his other shoulder. The metal fell to the ground with a loud clatter; the giant soon followed.

A yowl called Alanna's attention behind her, seeing faithful clinging to a mans face. Scared for her cat, she stabbed the man through the stomach, realising only one man had armour on and she had killed him already.

Footsteps made her turn and bring Lightning up just in time to block a blow to her head from a staff. Before she even had a chance to inflict a blow, a piece of metal showed through his stomach and her opponent fell, Gary standing behind him, sweating. Now only two men remained, and Alanna wanted to know who wanted Gary dead. She held out her hand and purple fire made her fingertips glow. She made a small fireball and threw it at one of the men, immobilizing him. The other turned to flee but Gary caught on to watch she was doing. He maneuvered himself so that for a second the man to no place to turn, between the bodies of his fallen comrades. Alanna took the opportunity to freeze him as well.

"Ropes," said Gary.

Alanna walked Moonlight to the bags, grabbed the rope and noticed the men were starting to move again. Instead of walking, she made Moonlight gallop, it was the only way to get there in time.

She handed the ropes to her friend, and as he tied the first man, the smaller of the two tried to run. _Stupid,_ thought Alanna wearily. She rode towards, not hard, and drew Lightning. The man looked back and cried, "don't do this to me! I was paid to do this! You were supposed to be easy prey!"

_Easier than I thought._ "Who paid you?" she hadn't stopped riding; now she was level with him and turning so that her sword could press down to his throat.

He gulped. "I couldn't see him. It was in a dark tavern, and he had a cloak on and everything."

"Was he tall?" asked Alanna sweetly, having fun tormenting the killer.

"He was sitting down." the man was terrified.

The torture had lost it's fun. "Was there anything special about him? Did he have the Gift? Did he seem to have a sense of authority? Almost royal? Or close to royal?"

The man nodded. But before he could speak she said, "yes what? You have to give me more than that to live."

"Alan," Gary called. "Leave him be, we have reinforcements."

She turned to see a wave of men in Naxen colours being led by a small fragile looking lady. She had waist length blonde hair, and brown eyes, matching Gary and Morgan's.

Movement beside Alanna drew her from the memory. She looked to her left and saw Raoul tighten with anger, his knuckles were white. She listened to what the man was saying and she almost jumped to her feet in protest.

"This world did not know how to deal with such a free spirit...while she had committed a terrible act, she will forever live on in all our hearts," he finished. A small applause started, and it grew, but Alanna and Raoul never joined in.

* * *

They were walking back and Alanna finally decided to ask why Raoul had been so angry. She understood that he had been infuriated by what the man had said, she wanted to know why he was so mad. "Why were you so angry at the funeral?"

He looked startled. "Weren't you listening?"

"I tried, but I knew he was going to go on about what a 'heinous' act she committed."

"He did. But it's also because _he _was judging her. He said how she wasn't worthy to fall into the Mother's gracious hands, and that she would never rest because she took her own life," Raoul murmured, his tone held a sharp edge.

"Oh my,"Alanna remarked.

"Yes," Raoul mouth curved into a wry smile. "If it happened to anyone but her she would be making jokes about the miserable old man."

Alanna grinned. Isabelle was as bad as Gary when it came to jokes. "I remember most of the plots to set the two of you up."

Raoul laughed. "They must have been good."

"You two were together."

Another laugh. "I feel a bit bad right now."

"There are more reasons?" said Alanna, raising an eyebrow.

Raoul sighed with fake exasperation. "Of course there are!"

"Like what?"

"Well, for the a long time after you went to Gary, I was drinking worse than ever before," he explained, shocking Alanna. "And then I kept being out close to Isabelle, and I felt something different. But I still drank.

"Finally, Isabelle came with me, she never had a problem with it before. But I got drunk and I must have said something to her, because she slapped in front of everyone at the Dancing Dove. It went silent and they waited to see what was going to happen. Isabelle started to yell, 'you drunken idiot! I've had enough of you! I didn't know you were so horrible! No wonder Alan left you!' and stormed out. George took me upstairs to sober up and Morgan left to get Isabelle."

"Then what?" Alanna was very intrigued by the story.

"When they got back to the Dove, I was almost sober, and I was starting to really feel the effect of her slap. And the way she brought you up. I didn't know how much everything hurt. I held strong, but she saw through it."

"Thus the beginning of a happy relationship," Alanna concluded.

Raoul nodded. "There was a reason I never tried to make a relationship start while you were my squire."

Alanna frowned. "I thought you just didn't want one."

"I didn't. Well, at least not with one of those ladies."

Her mouth went dry. "Why not? You might have had a chance with Delia."

He laughed again. "Who doesn't?"

"Not the point."

"Fine, I wanted a girl who was willing to be different, who wanted to make a change," Raoul corrected himself

"And you did," Alanna insisted.

"Isabelle still went to the convent. You lied about everything."

"Not everything! Just my sex!"

"You still didn't just accept that you were supposed to go to the convent," he argued.

"It's-" Alanna didn't know what to say. The fact was, she wanted him to want her like that. But she had lost her chance. "Never mind."

"Alright," he said resigned. "You might as well get some sleep, we have meet the Tusiane embassy tomorrow."

"Good night," Alanna said. Not for the first time happy about saying that to Raoul.

* * *

Alanna was awake, or at least it seems this way. Everything seemed normal, except for the figure standing in her room. She almost screamed.

"Did I frighten you?" the voice was soft, but it still made Alanna's head ache. As long as she lived, she would never forget how this voice sounded.

"To be perfectly honest you did," Alanna replied tiredly. Then she looked around and asked, "am I still asleep?"

The Goddess smiled at her. "Yes, it is the only way for us not to be overheard. It was difficult to make arrangement with Ganiel though..."

"Why have you come?" Alanna asked too suddenly. Her eyes went wide and she bowed low the immortal.

"I have a few things to discuss with you," the woman said, rather business like. "You see, you weren't supposed to be in service to Raoul, you were supposed to serve Jonathan. And things were supposed to change based on your choices. But Raoul changed this, and I'm not sure if it's for the worst."

"Why would it be for the worst?" asked Alanna

"It all depends on your choices, and certain obstacles."

"What kind of obstacles," inquired Alanna, confused.

"Fears."

Alanna swallowed hard.

"You have overcame almost anything thrown at you," the Goddess was saying, "but you have not even tried to deal with three of these challenges." when she saw Alanna still looked confused, she continued, "the Ordeal."

"No matter what, I'm going to be afraid of the Ordeal; even when I'm a knight."

"Of course you will, but your time will come, and you can defeat it, when the time comes. But for the time being, you shouldn't think about it." she paused and noticed how Alanna still wanted to hear more. "Another fear is love."

"I'm not scared of love!" she denied. "I just don't want, or need, it!"

"If you are not scared, then why did you get so jumpy?"

The squire was getting tired of not having answers; but she tried to make one up on the spot. "I don't like being accused like that."

"Obviously you don't," she said with a joking smile. "Why do not need love?"

"It will only get in my way," she replied, feeling very small. "What if I have to choose between my loved one's life, or the entire realm of Tortall? I'll probably choose my lover's life. Practically killing everyone else."

"But what if you do feel love but won't accept it?"

Alanna had gotten tired of this game. "What's my third fear?"

"Duke Roger of Conte."

Icy fear trickled down her spine. "I don't..." she didn't mean for this to happen, but it all spilled out. "It was all him! He was the snake who tired to poison me and Raoul. He was the one who paid those men to attack me and Gary. He sent the Sweating Sickness. He dared me and Jon to go the Black City. And he was the one who made Isabelle kill herself!"

"How can you be sure?"

A small smile appeared on Alanna's face. "Your token."

"Keep it. And keep your suspicions to yourself as well! Duke Roger is far too powerful for you to accuse him without solid proof," the tall woman advised. "Everything will come in time."

About to ask what everything was, but having the Goddess disappear put Alanna off. _Shuld have known she would leave with something cryptic, _she thought grumpily. And fell back asleep, only to wake up and hear a cry. Not loud, just a small sob.

She pressed an ear to Raoul's door and heard him mumble, "why her? Of all people, why her?"

She knocked softly, unsure of what she wanted. He answered the door, and Alanna knew he had been crying. His eyes were once again red rimmed and swollen. He bent down and hugged Alanna tightly, whispering in her ear, "please, don't let go. Not yet."

"I won't,"she breathed. "I promise, I'll always be here."

They stood like that, just letting Raoul grieve. Alanna knew this was what the Goddess was talking about. And while Raoul didn't know it, she had never been happier that he was holding right now.

* * *

**A/N:**I have no idea what qualifies as fluff, so if you could help me it would be greatly appreciated. Please continue to review. Thanks. 


	14. Diplomats?

**Diplomats?**

**Disclaimer: i don't own any of the characters mentioned in this chapter. they all belong to Tamora Pierce.**

**A/N: **the fight to begin the war! and thanks to all reviewers.

* * *

Within the next week, Alanna and her friends, particularly Jon, were stressed. The Tusiane ambassadors were in the capital and Jon had been forced to attend every meeting, even the most useless ones; it was starting to try his patience and often his friends bore the brunt of his rage, frustration and cruel words. While Alanna didn't like it, she had to admit, she would have reacted even worse in Jonathan's situation. 

"Alan," Jon said.

Alanna looked at him. Lately, it was hard to see Jon when he wasn't in a temper, and was relishing it now. "What's up?"

"I'm sorry, I know I've been saying this a lot, especially to you. But I really want you to know that what I say I don't mean," he said, sounding as he normally did, depressed.

Alanna couldn't help it. She grinned. "You dolt! Relax, I didn't take anything personally and you can ask anyone, I would be screaming and cursing and probably throwing punches if I were in your shoes!"

"I thoroughly agree with that!" cried Raoul from the corner.

"I'm not about to deny it," replied Gary with a shrug.

The four of them laughed. Alanna missed the days when they were pages and they could do this all the time. Sarcastically, Gary went on, "so, what's the meeting about tonight?"

With a wicked glance to Alanna and Raoul, the prince replied, "no meeting, just a party. And no, Alan, the squires aren't serving. You're to show the Tusaines how well- mannered us Tortallans are."

"I'm sorry to say this, you Highness," Alanna said dryly, " but I think if you want to show how well- mannered Tortallans are, I don't think I should be used as an example."

A soft chuckle passed through the prince's room before Jonathan said, "I am, mostly because you still believe in the Code of Chivalry."

Alanna snorted. "Good reason."

"Better you than one of the other squires who don't know what to do," Gary said.

"I'm not sure about that," Raoul argued. "Yes, some of the others don't know what to do, but at least they won't be ready to fight at the slightest insult."

"Maybe so, but Alan knows how to handle himself," Jon pointed out. "And he wouldn't object to fighting one their knights. And my mind is made up."

"Jon," Raoul said in his attempting to be persuasive voice. "Why are you being so cruel to myself and my squire?"

Jonathan's sapphire eyes lit with a smile. "Because you are the most respected knights of our realm, and Alan is being known for his fencing ability."

"Well, couldn't you just continue with the meetings?" Raoul sounded so pleading.

"I'm sorry, Raoul," Jonathan told him, "but it has to be this way."

"_Well either it be this way, or wage war,"_ commented Faithful, his violet eyes roved around the room until he spotted something. _"Take your sword."_

"Why? What good is it going to do me?" asked Alanna, earning her stares from her friends. "Ask faithful!"

"_Why should they? Only you can understand me."_

"Well, say it so they can understand too!" said Alanna, hoping he would warn her friends as well as her.

He rolled his eyes and said, "_all of you take your swords. There might be some trouble tonight. Raoul, no drinking."_

Alanna's three friends were gaping. Finally Gary swallowed hard. "Maybe he's right."

Jonathan looked immensely startled. "You're taking orders from a _cat_?"

"Why not? You heard Alan talk to him a moment ago," Raoul said, grinning. He was used to Faithful.

Identical glares.

"For the love of the Goddess!" snapped Alanna. "Just bring the damned swords!"

Jon and Gary left to grab their weapons and Alanna looked at Raoul, who started shaking his head. "Temper, temper. That tongue of yours will really make a cripple of you."

Alanna rolled her eyes. "How so? If they had done it to begin with I wouldn't have sworn at them."

He placed a hand on his squires shoulder. "Because, others might not be so willing to follow someone who treats them like that." he looked up, and said, "we should be going."

"Alright," Alanna mumbled. Though he had taken his hand away, Alanna could still feel that heat. _Gods bless it all! Not now of all times!_

They met up with their friends at the hall doors. Jon looked Raoul and Alanna over before nodding and saying, "Alan, stay close to Raoul, make sure no alcohol comes into contact with him."

"Easy enough, since he quit drinking," Alanna replied.

Jon looked over the room and said, "there are my parents. I have to go see them." he clapped her on the shoulder and trotted off.

A hand on her shoulder drew Alanna around and her hand went for the hilt of her sword. A tall, brunette, fair skinned, blue eyed man stood over her. A flashback to Ralon of Malven surfaced, but she pushed it aside: she needed to focus on this man. Alanna bit her tongue, it was the only to prevent herself from snapping. "Yes? May I help you?"

"I was looking for squire Alan of Trebond. I heard he was one of the better fencers," the man said, looking a little uncomfortable.

"I am squire Alan," Alanna replied.

"Really?" the man was astonished. "I thought you'd be bigger."

Alanna smiled slightly.

"Alan!" a male voice shouted across the room.

"I'm sorry," she said and started to walk away, but he grabbed her arm.

"No. You are not going anywhere. Not yet, at least," a demented grin on his face.

Turning quickly, and managed to get the an to release her arm and walked towards the person who called her, Douglass. "What's wrong?"

Douglass looked around, and said, "why were you talking to that man?"

"He was looking for me," the female squire answered. "He said he'd heard of my fencing ability."

"Interesting."

"Why'd you call me over anyways?" Alanna asked.

"Raoul wants a word," he smiled and added, "it looks like you needed someone to call you away from Dain of Melor."

She nodded and walked to her knight-master. He was standing in a clump of knight, not all Tortallan; and most of knights looked tense and ready, as if anticipatinga fight to come. "You wanted me, sir?"

"Yes," he answered, glancing around the group and leading them away from it. "If one of those knights asks you anything out of the ordinary, don't answer. I don't care what you say, play dumb, it doesn't matter."

"Why all the precautions?" Alanna inquired.

"Because there are plenty of knights her who want to have a shot at some of our best fencers. They already decided to try Alex."

At the mention of his name, Alanna searched the hall for the Tirragen knight. She looked until she found him at the table, quietly chatting with Sir Myles of Olau. "Why are they trying us like this? We haven't done anything wrong, we haven't provoked them in any way."

Raoul sighed. "No, but they want to prove that they have better fencers and weapons masters than we do."

"Are they going to try and joust against you?" Alanna asked, hoping they would. Hardly anybody could unhorse her largest friend.

Another sigh. "I wish they would. But none of them want to joust, they'd prefer to beat us in archery or sword fighting or even just trick riding."

Wearily, Alanna rubbed her head. _Imbeciles, take on Alex and they'll see who's amazing._

"Trebond!"

Alanna jumped a foot in the air and turned to see the man walking towards her again.

"So, squire," the sneer was back on the Tusaine knight's face. "Want to have a go?"

"My apologies, Sir Dain of Melor, but I must be going, I have duties," the man made her _extremely_ uncomfortable.

Dain stood there, watching the red-head walk away, trying to think of a way to challenge the young man.

For an hour the evening was quiet. Everyone ate in polite conversations, not just talking to their own friends, but to Alanna and her friends. But halfway during the first course, Dain shouted, "fencing! I've seen what you call fencing. Back home we call it dancing."

A shocked silence fell over the room, no one moved. Well, Myles did, but he hasn't showed any indication of sober either. Jonathan looked at him, completely calm, as if expecting this would happen and said, "I'm afraid I must disagree. Even our pages and squires can fence against a blooded knight."

"Are you saying that your knights are that weak?" Dain jeered.

"No, I'm saying that our pages and squires are that talented," Jon answered. With a hand gesture he called Alanna over. "Would you be willing to accept a bout with one our best fencers? Alan of Trebond."

"Why would I want to fence a squire? They aren't as good as knights," he scoffed.

Alanna took her cue. "But Sir Dain, earlier this evening you asked for a match."

His eyes widened. "I did no such thing."

"Fine," Gary interrupted, "you may joust with Sir Raoul of Goldenlake, who is a knight."

The other man visibly paled. "I will not risk possible death by jousting! I will battle your squire then."

"Good," said Jon decisively. "Mother, Father, will you meet us in the fencing courts?"

* * *

Alex excused himself from the drunk Myles to Duke Roger of Conte's company. 

Roger only glanced at his former squire and asked, "do you honestly think Alan has a chance against the knight?"

A small smile appeared on Alexander's face before saying, "Dain has no idea of what he charged into."

"You aren't saying that Alan is actually as good as, you are you?"

"He might even be better," Alex said, his confidence was as plain as the nose on his face.

Deciding to ponder this later, Roger said no more but walked to the fencing hall to see the small squire stretching and sizing up his opponent. _He's taller, and heavier than me. But he's been drinking and he doesn't think I'm any good. He might try to play a few games with me. _Alanna smiled savagely. _I'll show him._

"_Are you sure you can do this?" _asked Faithful.

"What are you doing here?" asked Alanna quietly, she knew if she spoke too loud people would stare.

"_I'm a spectator,"_ the cat replied. _"But do you really think you will win?"_

"I have to try don't I?" questioned Alanna.

"_Well, good luck in any case."_ andambled away.

Someone put Lightning into Alanna's hand and shoved her into the middle of the room. When she looked back to see who had pushed, she saw Raoul, giving her a thumb up with a large grin on his face. _At least he thinks I can win_, Alanna thought as elation filled her. She inwardly sighed. This has to stop.

Dain was there, waiting, sword out and his legs braced. When the king said "Begin" Dain swung his sword in an overhead chop, trying to drive Alanna to her knees. She blocked and the room echoed with a loud ringing sound. She backed away, trying to find any advantage.

"Prepare to die!" he shouted at her.

Alanna refused to answer, she always thought it was pointless to yell out insults. It wasted you breath , and while you were talking, someone could find an opening to beat you. Also, her silence often made her opponents wary. Her violet flicked around, trying to find opening. He swung at her side, but she blocked, and mirrored the attack, was blocked and swiftly lunged in, ready to back away if need be. Dain skipped away, losing his balance.

The Tusiane ambassador cried, "a child's trick!"

King Roald looked at him, a smile in his eyes. "Maybe so, but it nearly worked."

Alanna started to notice the sweat forming on Dain, and the sweat on her forehead. She moved in, sword pointed at his stomach, only when he back away did she jump back and wipe her forehead. She thought she was fast enough, but he was faster. He leaped in with a triumphant cry and slashed her right arm. The first drop of blood made her put her sword down. She had lost.

The knight moved in again, looking crazed, a frantic gleam in his eyes. She dodged left, barely managing to save herself from being skewered on Dain's sword. Alanna was furious. She loved the laws of chivalry and this barbarian had just broken them! Duke Gareth the Elder walked forward, sword out and was ready to show the Tusaine the error he made. Alanna shook her head, she would teach Dain some manners.

Painfully she switched sword hands, and moved away from the puddle of blood. She moved in like a flash, slicing a lock of hair off. She went downwards and slashed at his leg, forcing him to jump or be wounded. Once in the air Alanna tried a cut to his middle. He blocked and blocked another blow, and another. Soon Alanna found the opening she needed and slid her sword past his to rest the pont at his throat.

Alanna was about to speak when he kicked her in the stomach. Raoul bellowed from the sidelines, "Foul!"

If he wanted to fight this way, let him, Alanna would fight using her own rules as well. While he moved back to get his balance, Alanna healed her right arm. She could use both hands now. She ran forward, cut for his middle, switched hands and turned so that when she cut he would have to turn. She continued to move in a circle, until the Tusaine knight fell over his own feet; he landed flat on his back.

Sword point pressed to Dain's throat so that a small drop of blood popped up, she said coldly, "you idiot. You broke the laws of chivalry, twice. You now lost to a squire, and as the victor, you should apologize to everyone."

Dain shuddered but said clearly, "I apologize for my actions, and my words."

Alanna smiled. "And they say conservatives can't learn."

* * *

**A/N: **as you may have noticed,I took some things from "In The Hand Of The Goddess". You know the drill. 


	15. Word of War

**Word of War**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**A/N: I know it's been a while, my volleyball season just ended, and well, new friends, and "friend". **

* * *

Alanna awoke early the next morning, feeling every injury she received the night before. Glancing at her right arm she discovered that there was a thick bandage over the wound. She looked around but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

"_Nice to see you're awake," _said Faithful. He sounded more smug than normal.

"Oh shut up!" snapped Alanna. She wanted to go back to sleep, and forget the memories of the after of her duel. "How long have I been out?"

"Long enough," replied Raoul from the doorway. A grin started to spread over his face as he continued, "Dain went home earlier than the rest of the knights. He couldn't stand the thought that a squire beat him."

Alanna cocked an eyebrow. "Why are you avoiding the question?"

"Why are you so persistent?" he teased and dodged a punch to his head.

"Because it gets me what I want," she answered stiffly. "Now, seriously, how long?"

"Four days," Goldenlake replied slowly. "You kept waking up, but Duke Baird put you back to sleep."

The red head's jaw dropped. "Why?"

Raoul was trying look innocent. "I told him to."

"_Why?_ Why in the Mother's name did you do that?" she demanded.

"I thought you lost a lot of blood."

"Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine!" another thought hit Alanna. "Are the diplomats gone?"

"Yes..."

"What's wrong then?" Alanna inquired nervously.

Raoul drew a deep breath. "Their leader, not their king, but um... his brother, Duke Hilam, wants the River Drell."

"WHAT!" shouted Alanna.

The knight was cringing. "Yeah."

Alanna was shaking her head in disbelief. "No. Why?"

He shrugged. "Ask Jon later, he was at the meeting when we were told about it."

The squire bit her lip. "Where is he?"

"I'm not sure," he replied. "Up for a search around the palace?"

"Not really, but I guess I have to," Alanna said. She stood up with a groan and almost toppled over when her right knee gave out.

In one swift moment, Raoul held by her elbows. For some reason, he started laughing and dropped her, leaving Alanna to land with a loud thud. "Helpful, really," Alanna drawled.

He held a hand out to her, sending a small spark throughout her entire body. Becoming used to these small inconveniences, Alanna ignored it. His catching her was even worse.

"If I was helpful I wouldn't be me," he explained with a large smile.

In an act of defiance Alanna stuck her tongue out at her giant friend. "Let's forget about this mishap, conveniently "forget" to tell Jon"-

"Why not tell him?" asked Raoul slyly.

A deep blush rose into Alanna's pale cheeks. "I don't want to."

"You want to loooove him," Raoul sang. "You want to"- but his song was cut short by a small fist to the face.

"Maybe I just don't want to tell one of my friends about how I'm too weak to stand on my own two feet!" she said angrily. " and I don't want Jon!"

"Surprised me," grumbled Raoul, holding a hand to cover his bleeding nose and blocked another punch to his face.

"Not the point," she rapped out.

"Well, do you like anyone?" he sat back and crossed his legs, looking like a very, _very,_ muscular lady.

"This isn't a slumber party, and even if I did I wouldn't tell _you!"_ Was her final snapped reply before she stalked out of the room.

Jonathan walked the deserted corridors, thinking once again of the chestnut haired lady who seemed to control his mind. Delia of Eldorne often tried to seduce, and often he went along, but now it was evolving. This was more than simple lust, this was sheer passion!

"Prince!"

He turned to he Alan, not walking fast but fast enough to catch up to the tall Conte. Jon smiled, he hadn't talked to the squire in what felt like ages. "Nice to see you're up and about."

Alan grimaced. "Barely."

Jonathan looked at Alan. "You probably want to know why we're going to war with Tusaine."

"Am I that predicatable?" asked Alan sweetly.

"When it comes to things like this, then yes. Yes you are."

The squire's copper eyebrow was raised. "Thank you for sparing me my dignity. But I really need to know. Why?"

The prince sighed. "I'm not sure."

"How can you now be sure? You went to the meetings and you understand why people go to war!"

"It's not like I don't have other things on my mind," said Jon defensively.

"I wasn't saying that."

The prince looked skeptical. "That's was it sounded like."

Alan flushed. "Maybe so, but that wasn't what I was implying."

Running a hand through his black hair, Jon said, "all right, maybe I took it the wrong way. But why must you know why we're going to war?"

He took a moment before answering. "I want to know what I'm fighting for."

Alanna was more confused than ever. It was bad to go to war at all, even worse when you don't even know what you're fighting for. While she loved Tortall and its occasional secrecy, she needed to know why they were fighting their neighbouring country. And she knew one way that never failed her yet.

Walking to the stables, Alanna called down Stefan, and had him saddle Moonlight as she reviewed all the information she had. Which was little.

"Why you be in such a tearin' hurry, master Alan?" questioned the hostler.

"I need a few questions answered," she said and hopped onto Moonlight.

Within minutes, the rider was in the lower city of Corus, and in the midst of a party at the Dancing Dove.

"Alan, what a pleasant surprise," cried the tall redheaded Rispah.

"Where's George?"

"His rooms, where else would he be?" the older woman joked.

"I don't know, entertaining a certain person?" said Alanna with subtlety.

"Just go see your friend!" commanded Rispah with exasperation.

A quick wave was all Alanna gave her friend and trotted up the stairs to George's room.

She started pounding on the door yelling, "George! I know you're in there! Open up! It's me, Alan."

The sounds of fumbling were heard before George opened the door, his hair mussed and he looked exhausted. Trebond eyed the thief with interest. "You have a friend over?"

The Rogue blushed.

"I'll take that as a yes," she said cooly and walked in. "Morgan? Who else would be here?"

Gary's sister walked out from behind the bed. Now Alanna raised her eyebrows. "I think I'll come back later. When you aren't doing something."

The pair glanced at each other and Morgan replied. "No, it's fine. Just don't tell father about this."

"Hmm," Alanna grinned. "Maybe I won't tell you _father_ about it..."

Morgan's feet were off the ground in a second and Alanna found herself pinned beneath the Naxen Lady. "Not Gary either!" she looked down to see Alanna staring up at her in shock. "Not so powerful now, are you, Lioness?"

The corners of the squire's mouth twitched in a small smile. "Lioness? Where'd that come from?"

"You're like one, and lionesses are usually the ones to fight and hunt," Morgan replied.

"I like it," Alanna said absently, "I like it a lot."

George chose that moment to ask, "what are you doin' here anyways?"

There and then the Lioness's mood turned sour. "You know Tortall's going to war, right?" he nodded. "Well, I don't know why."

"Why must you know why?" George wanted to know. "Can't you just fight for the country without question?"

Alanna pursed her lips. "No, I can't. I will fight, I have no choice, but I want to know why I have to do this."

Crossing his arms across his chest George said, "I'm not gonna be the one to tell you, lass."

She threw her arms into the air and exclaimed, "why not?"

Her raised his eyebrow at her. "Because it's not my place to say."

"You would go all noble on me wouldn't you?" grumbled Alanna as she turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door in her wake.

Alanna was infuriated. Why would no one tell her why they were going to war? Deciding everyone was just as useless as a broken saddle, the squire walked the halls of the palace aimlessly.

"Really?"

Alanna paused. Her senses were picking up, and their words were audible.

"Aye, apparently, Goldenlake's squire has been going around, poking and prodding, just being an annoyance."a second voice explained.

"Whatever for?" cried a third voice.

The squire heard loud thumps and assumed they were servants "hush! Do you want them nobility to catch us! Some are mages and you can say good bye to yer voice!" hissed the first voice.

Alanna smiled grimly. They were so stupid.

"So why was the squire 'poking and prodding'?" asked the second voice.

A new voice, a female cutting voice, said, "trying to find out why Tortall is going to war. Can't be content to serve the realm."

Now, the Lioness was confused. The new voice was too educated to be a servant.

"He doesn't know?" the first person spoke again.

"Would I be poking and prodding otherwise?" Alanna murmured under her breath.

She wasn't quiet enough. Within seconds three men and Delia of Eldorne had her surrounded. Delia walked forward and slapped Alanna across the face, the sound might have been loud enough for Raoul to hear it. "Why were you eavesdropping?"

_She could have gone around the bushes to see why, and see if she could trap me, but she had to be up front about it. How dumb can you get?_

"It wasn't intentional, my lady," Alanna lied evenly.

"I'm sure," said the other woman sarcastically. She snapped her fingers and the three men grabbed Alanna and started to haul her away.

"What are you doing?" Alanna yelled.

"Sorry Trebond, who knows what else you might overhear," Delia replied, her voice sickly sweet.

"Who cares what else I might over hear! Unless you have something to hide," Alanna said, realization sinking in.

"As far as anyone knows, you were killed while you were in the Lower City," Delia smiled. "Such a pity, too. I'm sure if we took away your disguise, you would make a wonderful wife for Raoul of Goldenlake."

_Goddess! _"What are you talking about?"

Delia rolled her eyes. "Mithros! I know you're not a boy!"

"How?"

"The looks you gave me when Raoul flirted with me," Delia explained, her sick smile still on her face.

Alanna started to fight. One of her lucky punches caught a man in the nose, and another man got a kick to the stomach.

Delia was still speaking. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. You know, that's not a good idea. I could very easily expose you to the whole court."

The squire froze. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I would. You're an annoyance. You're a liar. You're a whore, you're probably sleeping with Raoul. You deserve to die."

"I haven't been sleeping with Raoul. And why do I deserve to die? I was only trying to make Tortall a better place," Alanna refused to beg, but she would try to make Delia see reason.

"I'm not talking about the disguise!" Delia snapped. "I'm talking about everything you've done, every time you got in the way."

Alanna gasped. It all fit! She had been there to prevent one of her friends, (and Jon's!) from dying.

"Hello?" called out a man in a rather happy, sing-song voice.

Delia sneered, made a quick gesture and the four ran away, leaving Alanna to deal with whoever came around the corner.

"I said 'hello'. Why hasn't anyone answered me?" the man called again, this time Alanna smiled at the sight of him.

"Dean!" she shouted and jumped at him. Unfortunately, Dean moved and Alanna smashed into the stone wall.

"Damn! Sorry about that."

Alanna laughed. "I'm fine." she glanced around, and remembered what got her into the whole mess in the first place. "Dean, do you know why we're going to war with Tusaine?"

"Of course I do," he said happily. "Because they want the Drell river, and now that they know that simple raiding parties won't get them it, Duke Hillam's decided to make war."

"That's it?" Alanna was astonished. That was it? And no one would tell her!

"Oh, and this is my idea of a conspiracy. I think that this is only the beginning. I think that they might want to kill our best warriors and our defenses, then attack with multiple raiding parties to take over all of Tortall," he said.

"Oh Goddess Bless!" whispered Alanna as she bade a quick farewell to Dean and sprinted to find Raoul.

She met Faithful halfway to her room. "_Where have you been?_ He howled. _"Raoul's been looking everywhere!"_

"I have to talk to him," she said. A grim smiled was on her face.

She got to the rooms, tried to open the door. It was locked. _Figures._ She put her hands on the lock and blasted it.

"What are you doing?" Raul asked her from behind.

"Umm... I was looking for you actually," she answered uncomfortably. She started to scuff her foot against the flagstones beneath her. "Sorry about the door, but it was in my way."

"At least you'll be useful in the war," he said dryly.

Alanna blushed. He still did mad things to her emotions, and being in this position was not fun. "I guess... but this isn't the reason I was in such a rush to find you."

"What was the reason then?" he was actually amused! She had just blown the door off of his room and he was still smiling.

"Because I was talking to Dean of Fenrigh and"-

"Say no more," interrupted Raoul, grinning maniacally.

"But"-

"No. Dean had very odd things to say and they are never right."

"But this one made sense," insisted Alanna.

"What was it then?" he leaned against the wall and stretched out his incredibly long legs.

When Alanna finished, Raoul was frowning.

"What?" she asked.

"I have to talk to Jon. Do you want to come with me?"

Alanna nodded. "I might as well."

The walk was brisk, Alanna guessed it had to be, it wasn't everyday that your go to war and hear about conspiracies. She glanced around the halls. "Why aren't we going to the mess hall? Wouldn't that be where Jon would be?"

Raoul shook his head. "They're going to be in his chambers discussing the war and who's leading."

"Who's leading?" panted Alanna. Their brisk walk had progressed into a fast walk for Raoul, and a jog for Alanna.

"Duke Gareth, Jon and King Roald."

An inner sigh of relief flooded Alanna's mind. At least now she knew why she didn't trust Duke Roger, or Delia for that matter.

They had arrived and Jon's door. Raoul knocked loudly and shouted," Jon! Get out here! We might have a situation soon!"

The prince's black-haired head popped through the door. "What are you on about?" and let them into the room.

As Raoul explained, Alanna wandered aimlessly, not hearing anything that was being said. A little while later, Alanna heard Jonathan sigh. "If you see him again, tell him not to say that to anyone else. If that got around Tortall might be ruined."

"I know. Alan," called Raoul.

"Hmm?" she was looking at one of Jon's maps.

"Go find Dean of Fenrigh, and ask him if he said that to anyone else," instructed Raoul.

"Yessir," Alanna said and walked towards the door.

Raoul looked at his old friend again. "What's wrong with you lately?"

"It's Delia," he murmured.

"What's going on between you two anyway? You used to be nearly inseparable, now all you do is say hello in the mess hall," Raoul recalled.

"I know. I tink she's seeing someone else as well," Jon confessed.

Raoul knew Delia was seeing someone else, but whom he was not sure. "I'm not sure who else she would be seeing," the knight assured Jonathan.

"You might be right. I hate being lied to, though," Jon was scared. He thought Delia loved him. If she did, why would she act like that?

"Come now," ordered Raoul. "We have bigger problems."

"You're right. Alan had better find the Fenrigh man!"

* * *

**A/N: So? you like it? I knwo, maybe Delia shouldn't have found out, but i have a way it will help! (I hope) I haven't lost interest on the story, things have gotten busy.**

**Thanks a million for reading; please take the time to review.**


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